Team activities and life skills: IELTS Task 2 essay #8, band 7.0

There is a view that activities done with a group are far more helpful in developing essential life skills than those done alone. Personally, I completely disagree with this point of view, albeit acknowledging certain advantages of being part of a team.

The advantages of grouping are clear. One of them is communication. In an advanced world where people barely talk with others intentionally in real life, doing something in a group can make one find themselves in touch with others. This helps them to improve interpersonal skills such as communication and negotiation skills. Another advantage is shared responsibility. While working in a team, workload can be divided between team members, making it easier and faster to finish the task. The tech industry projects can be a good case in point where programmers often collaborate with designers and project managers to finish the task quicker.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThe advantages of working in a group are evident.

   The phrase 'working in a group' is more precise and conveys the intended meaning more clearly.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIn a modern world where people rarely engage in intentional communication with others, participating in a group can help individuals connect with others.

   The revised sentence is more clear and natural in terms of word choice.

3. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThis can help individuals enhance their interpersonal skills, including communication and negotiation abilities.

   The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.

4. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe tech industry is a prime example where programmers frequently collaborate with designers and project managers to complete tasks more efficiently.

   The revised sentence is more natural and precise in terms of word choice.

However, I believe the advantages of doing something alone are more helpful in developing life-helping skills. First, people can gain self-confidence. After completing a task alone, people can feel that they own the entire process, and this autonomy can definitely be a confidence booster. Another upside of doing something alone is independence. While taking the task on the shoulders solely, one relies purely upon his own skills and abilities. This, as a result, makes him think that he can handle things without depending on others, which is the baseline of the independence.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedHowever, I argue that the benefits of individual activities are more effective in developing essential life skills.

   The revised sentence is more formal and precise.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedBy shouldering the task alone, one relies solely on their own skills and abilities.

   The revised sentence is more natural and precise in terms of word choice.

3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedThis can lead to the individual believing that they can handle things independently, which is the foundation of independence.

   The revised sentence is more clear and natural in terms of grammatical structure.

In conclusion, although working with a team can foster communication skills and help to finish tasks quicker, I believe relying solely on your own abilities can be more beneficial as it boosts confidence and independence.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn conclusion, although working with a team can enhance communication skills and increase task efficiency, I believe that relying solely on one's own abilities can be more beneficial as it fosters confidence and independence.

   The revised sentence is more clear and natural in terms of grammatical structure.