Team activities and life skills: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 7.0

The collaboration activities is helpful approach to enhance our life experiences as opposed to working alone. Although there are various benefits of being alone when people are engaged in some activities, I do believe that team work is more effective way to improve our life skills.

One the one hand, solo activities can be beneficial for some people who want to progress by themselves. Firstly, some individuals prefer to work alone, since they are willing to be independent in everything. As a result, they can make decisions independently without anybody’s pressure unlike group work has their own managers in the office. For example, by working completely alone, individuals have the chance to tackle the issues by themselves which means that they can improve their problem-solving and critical thinking skills. Secondly, people who have a certain schedule for building their future choose being alone, as they are crave for keeping the pace in any areas. Consequently, that effects very positively for their career and personal life, using flexible working.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedOn the one hand, individual activities can be advantageous for those who prefer self-reliance and independent progress.

   The revised sentence is more concise and uses a more formal tone.

2. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedAs a result, they can make decisions independently without any external pressure, unlike in group settings where there are designated leaders.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and clarifies the contrast being made.

3. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedFor example, working in isolation provides individuals the opportunity to hone their problem-solving and critical thinking skills by tackling issues independently.

   The revision is more concise and uses a more formal tone.

4. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedSecondly, individuals with specific plans for the future often choose to work alone to maintain their desired pace of progress in various areas.

   The revision corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the point being made.

However, I would argue that individuals should stick together to enrich overall life, fostering collaboration in groups. Through working with team, they can see the process while learning how to work effectively. Such situations happen in big companies like lawyers or doctors who sometimes are not able to solve the problem, colleagues give a hand to their coworkers. More importantly, these can also teach us how to communicate with others, managing conflicts effectively. For instance, in the workplace, everyone should come together to participate in group activities, though there are diverse personalities. They, therefore, need to come up with one particular idea, while others also have their powerful perspectives.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedHowever, I believe that the collective approach, fostering collaboration in groups, is more conducive to enriching various life skills.

   The revision provides a clearer statement of the argument and improves the formal tone.

2. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedSuch situations often arise in large professional settings, such as among lawyers or doctors, where colleagues can provide support when individual problem-solving is not sufficient.

   The revision clarifies the example being provided and corrects the awkward phrasing.

3. Grammar & accuracy

   Close revision note

   RevisedMore importantly, these experiences can also teach us how to communicate with others and manage conflicts effectively.

   The revision corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity of the point being made.

4. Grammar & accuracy

   Close revision note

   RevisedFor instance, in the workplace, it is important for everyone to come together and participate in group activities, despite the presence of diverse personalities.

   The revision clarifies the point being made and corrects the awkward phrasing.

5. Grammar & accuracy

   Close revision note

   RevisedThey must therefore collaborate to generate a unified idea, taking into account the diverse perspectives of others.

   The revision improves the clarity of the point being made and corrects the awkward phrasing.

In summary, even though there are different pros of solitary activities such as learning how to set flexible goals without anyone, I would argue that while we are not able to solve the problem, others may help to do it in a group, building stronger relationship between them.