Team activities and life skills: IELTS Task 2 essay #10, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
219 words. Marked by Axiom on 29 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2219 words
Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that participating in team activities helps individuals develop more essential life skills compared to engaging in activities alone. I agree completely agree with this idea, as it leads to enhance communication and leadership abilities.
Consequently, these interpersonal skills can assist in solving social issues and achieve objectives.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOne of the primary advantages of group work is that it helps individuals improve their communication and collaboration skills.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWhen people participate in team projects, they need to express their ideas clearly and listen to others to achieve a common goal.
The revised sentence corrects the plural form of 'project' and clarifies the aim of the activity.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor example, in intellectual competitions conducted as team works, participants must share their knowledge and pay attention to others' viewpoints.
The revised sentence is more precise and clear.
Working with others allows individuals to take responsibility and make vital decisions. For instance, a team leader in a workplace project must ensure that tasks are distributed fairly and completed efficiently. This helps develop leadership skills and a sense of duty, which leads to raise self-confident person and responsible individual for society.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, team activities offer significant benefits in terms of leadership development.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the next point.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, group activities can cultivate essential life skills, such as communication and leadership, which are advantageous in both personal and professional settings.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedTherefore, I firmly believe that team activities offer greater benefits for overall development.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the primary advantages of group work is that it helps individuals improve their communication and collaboration skills.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedOn the other hand, team activities offer significant benefits in terms of leadership development.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the next point.
RevisedIn conclusion, group activities can cultivate essential life skills, such as communication and leadership, which are advantageous in both personal and professional settings.
The revised sentence is more formal and precise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedWhen people participate in team projects, they need to express their ideas clearly and listen to others to achieve a common goal.
The revised sentence corrects the plural form of 'project' and clarifies the aim of the activity.
RevisedTherefore, I firmly believe that team activities offer greater benefits for overall development.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the primary advantages of group work is that it fosters improved communication and collaboration skills in individuals.
The revised sentence is more natural and collocates appropriately.
RevisedThis helps develop leadership skills and a sense of duty, fostering self-confidence and responsibility in individuals.
The revised sentence uses more precise language and is more natural.
RevisedFor example, in intellectual competitions conducted as team works, participants must share their knowledge and pay attention to others' viewpoints.
The revised sentence is more precise and clear.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.
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