Team activities and life skills: IELTS Task 2 essay #20, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
231 words. Marked by Axiom on 27 April 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2231 words
Group or team activities can teach more important skills for life than those activities which are done alone.
I am completely disagree with this point of view due to several reasons.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSome people believe that group or team activities can teach important life skills, while others think it is possible to do these alone.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more accurate in terms of formal language.
Working in a group not only helps them to learn new topic but also to adopt vital life skills like good social communication and problem-solving skills. Taking the football example of it, players should be physically and mentally strong, and football players are required to making decisions wisely while playing the game.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the one hand, today, many young people face challenges in learning new subjects and attending extracurricular activities.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the use of 'in learning' and 'attending' provides a better connection between the ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThis helps them to integrate well with the team, something that cannot be achieved when working alone.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more coherent connection between the ideas.
For instance, Cristiano Ronaldo completes his training even before his teammates start the training because Ronaldo's way of training and mentality are completely different and that is the reason why he performs so well in spite of his age.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOn the other hand, some people prefer to work alone because it allows them to work at their own pace and in their own way.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of formal language and collocation.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMoreover, working alone helps individuals develop discipline and consistency, which would be very useful in overcoming future challenges.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more accurate in terms of formal language.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, although working with a team may help people overcome challenges quickly, working alone can aid them in winning in every aspect of life.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the use of 'aiding' provides a better connection between the ideas.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly restate your position.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, today, many young people face challenges in learning new subjects and attending extracurricular activities.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the use of 'in learning' and 'attending' provides a better connection between the ideas.
RevisedThis helps them to integrate well with the team, something that cannot be achieved when working alone.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more coherent connection between the ideas.
RevisedIn conclusion, although working with a team may help people overcome challenges quickly, working alone can aid them in winning in every aspect of life.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the use of 'aiding' provides a better connection between the ideas.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSome people believe that group or team activities can teach important life skills, while others think it is possible to do these alone.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more accurate in terms of formal language.
RevisedOn the other hand, some people prefer to work alone because it allows them to work at their own pace and in their own way.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of formal language and collocation.
RevisedMoreover, working alone helps individuals develop discipline and consistency, which would be very useful in overcoming future challenges.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and is more accurate in terms of formal language.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOn the one hand, currently, many young people are facing challenges in learning new subjects and participating in extracurricular activities.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice and collocation.
RevisedThis helps them to integrate well with the team, as this cannot be achieved when working alone.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice and collocation.
RevisedIn conclusion, although collaborating with a team may help individuals overcome challenges quickly, working independently can aid them in excelling in every aspect of life.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice and collocation.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and effectively frame the discussion. However, the body paragraphs could be more fully developed, with more specific examples needed to support the arguments. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your argument is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
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