Robots at home and at work: IELTS Task 2 essay #4, band 6.0

Robots are replacing an increasing number of jobs of both employees and households. Although it may pose some problems to our societies, in my opinion, its benefits are far more significant.

There are two drawbacks to employing robots. One underlying issue is passive lifestyle that it seems to promote. In the past when our advanced technologies such as washing machines, vacuum cleaners were not available, people were obliged to complete their household chores manually. This, in turn, would keep them physically active. However, our day-to-day activities are carried out easily with the help of robots, making us even more reluctant to do physically workout. One top of that, introducing robots, introducing robots to workplaces also has a negative impact on the job market. Obviously, if robots take over certain positions people are currently working in, the unemployment rate rises noticeably. This is where unskilled people suffer most since it does not require any special qualities like a high level of intelligence to be programmed.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedFurthermore, introducing robots in workplaces also has a negative impact on the job market.

   The repetition of 'introducing robots' is a typographical error and should be corrected. The revision also provides a more natural and accurate collocation.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThis is particularly challenging for unskilled workers, as it does not require special skills or intelligence that are often needed for more complex tasks.

   The sentence is a bit unclear and the use of 'programmed' is not entirely accurate in this context. The revision provides a clearer and more accurate explanation.

On the other hand, in turn, there are some useful sides of robots such as flexibility to any work namely: people can use from it any job. Meanwhile robots are spread very quickly around the world and also human’s demands have become noticeably increased. For instance, if older people live a single in city or village at that time they should use from robots to their household that’s why, they can not do their household jobs because physical activity is being noticeably low which in older people .In addition to this, robots can some types of jobs very clearly and very quickly rather than human and so in many nations or many cities people are using from robots in various ways that’s why robots can give them comfort lifestyle.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the other hand, robots also have their advantages, such as flexibility in performing a variety of tasks.

   The phrase 'in turn, on the other hand,' is redundant. The revision provides a clear and concise statement of the point being made.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedMeanwhile, robots are spreading rapidly around the world, and human demands have noticeably increased.

   The sentence is grammatically incorrect and unclear. The revision provides a more accurate and clear phrasing.

To sum up with, robots have become greatly grow in recent years also in many jobs and a high amount of crucial labor are progressing through robots. Developing of robots are very good for our lifestyle also we have use it effectively for the right purpose.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, the use of robots has significantly increased in various jobs, and they are becoming a crucial part of the labor force.

   The sentence is confusing and not very coherent. The revision provides a clear and concise summary of the main points being made.