Robots at home and at work: IELTS Task 2 essay #7, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
388 words. Marked by Axiom on 10 May 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2388 words
More and more tasks we do at home and at work these days are done by robots. Is this a positive or negative development?
As a result of significant advancements in technologies, scientists have invented robots that are able to replace us in doing a variety of household chores and tasks at work. I believe this is certainly a positive development as it makes our lives more convenient and saves a great amount of money of businesses, though it does come with a caveat - people are becoming lazier and less physically active.
Firstly, robots can perform the routine activities at home that can make our lives more difficult and stressful. Take vacuum cleaning of the whole house as an example, which can seem too exhausting after a tiring workday, but leaving the floors dirty is not an option.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn this scenario, vacuum cleaning robots prove to be helpful as they can not only vacuum clean the house, but also self-clean and recharge, with some even having the ability to wash the floor.
This revision improves the flow and clarity of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis solution is very beneficial for those who wish to spend quality time with their families.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Another reason why this trend is positive is that it allows companies to save a huge amount of money. Trying to manufacture products, factories used to spend too much money on ordinary tasks that could have been done by robots.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNow, with the advent of robotics, the manufacturing industry has seen a significant shift, as robots are replacing human workers around the world due to their cost-effectiveness and 24/7 operational capacity.
This revision provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBusinesses can greatly benefit from this, either through reinvesting in themselves or by organizing charitable campaigns.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a more accurate expression of the idea.
For instance, they bring about laziness and reduced physical activity as people no longer need to put in hard work to do their daily activities as their ancestors used to do in the past.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, despite their numerous benefits, robots are not without their drawbacks and perfection is yet to be achieved.
This revision provides a more engaging and precise introduction to the discussion of the drawbacks of robots.
Lexical resource
RevisedConsequently, they may become overly dependent on these robots, and in situations where electricity is scarce or unavailable, they may not mind living in a messy environment.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedAdditionally, people may experience an increase in heart-related diseases due to a sedentary lifestyle, both at home and at work.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
However, it should be noted that these robots are also making people lazier and more prone to heart diseases.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn conclusion, the use of robots to replace humans in daily activities is undeniably a positive trend, as it not only enhances our comfort but also conserves financial resources for companies.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your sentences are not too long or complex, which can sometimes make your writing less clear.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn this scenario, vacuum cleaning robots prove to be helpful as they can not only vacuum clean the house, but also self-clean and recharge, with some even having the ability to wash the floor.
This revision improves the flow and clarity of the sentence.
RevisedNow, with the advent of robotics, the manufacturing industry has seen a significant shift, as robots are replacing human workers around the world due to their cost-effectiveness and 24/7 operational capacity.
This revision provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedHowever, despite their numerous benefits, robots are not without their drawbacks and perfection is yet to be achieved.
This revision provides a more engaging and precise introduction to the discussion of the drawbacks of robots.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but these do not impede overall understanding.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAdvancements in technology have led to the invention of robots that are capable of replacing us in a variety of household chores and tasks at work.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a more accurate expression of the idea.
RevisedBusinesses can greatly benefit from this, either through reinvesting in themselves or by organizing charitable campaigns.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and provides a more accurate expression of the idea.
RevisedThis solution is very beneficial for those who wish to spend quality time with their families.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedConsequently, they may become overly dependent on these robots, and in situations where electricity is scarce or unavailable, they may not mind living in a messy environment.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedAdditionally, people may experience an increase in heart-related diseases due to a sedentary lifestyle, both at home and at work.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, the use of robots to replace humans in daily activities is undeniably a positive trend, as it not only enhances our comfort but also conserves financial resources for companies.
The revised sentence provides a more natural and precise expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you consistently maintain a clear position throughout the essay. In the provided example, the position is clear in the introduction but needs to be more explicit in the conclusion.
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