Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #14, band 8.0

Many people expect their respective governments to allocate funds to search for habitable planets in the universe while some argue that we have plenty of unresolved problems that need to be paid more attention to. While space exploration might upset taxpayers, leading to public dissatisfaction, I, myself, am in favor of pursuing our research in space and find a sustainable place to inhabit.

It is reasonable of taxpayers to think that their money is being misused. It is true that space agencies, funded by governments, have been sending out rockets on special missions to look for signs of life on other planets for decades, regardless of how successful and promising these missions are. In fact, there have been many cases in which rocket launches, for which funds had been derived from public taxes, failed and were disposed of while the successful ones returned with no solid evidence of life or were left stranded in the middle of nowhere in space. Therefore, it is tempting to assume that these missions have all been made in vain. Instead, these people suggest that more focus should be concentrated on current global problems such as climate change, pollution and poverty.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIt is understandable for taxpayers to feel that their money is being misused.

   The revised sentence more accurately conveys the intended meaning.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn fact, there have been many cases where rocket launches, funded by public taxes, failed or returned with no solid evidence of life, having been stranded in the middle of nowhere in space.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear.

3. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedTherefore, it is understandable to assume that these missions have been in vain.

   The revised sentence is more effective in conveying the intended meaning.

On the other hand, other people, including myself, think that space exploration and finding a hospitable place in the galaxy to live should take precedence over anything else. Admittedly, with the rise of industry and technology, more and more ecological problems have emerged recently, which have been taking their toll on the ecosystem and the planet. Besides, most scientists confirm that some of them have reached a point of no return and are deemed irreversible as most people and government officials did not take them seriously enough at first and turned a blind eye. With this in mind, it is presumed that sooner or later, the ecosystem will collapse, making it too harsh and inhospitable to continue to live on the planet. Furthermore, it is no secret that as a result of overpopulation, we have been running out of important natural resources fast, without which we will not be able to survive since they are crucial for consumption and our daily lives. For these reasons, I support the idea of persistence in searching for inhabitable planets in the universe as it can ensure that we will always have a place to go to in case of an apocalypse and be able to gain a wealth of resources from other planets for future generations.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the other hand, I, along with others, believe that space exploration and finding a hospitable place in the galaxy should take top priority.

   The revised sentence is more concise and clear.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn light of this, it is believed that the ecosystem will eventually collapse, making it too harsh and inhospitable to live on the planet.

   The revised sentence is more formal and appropriate for an academic essay.

3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedFor these reasons, I support the idea of continuing the search for habitable planets in the universe, as it ensures that we will always have a place to go in case of an apocalypse and allows us to access a wealth of resources from other planets for future generations.

   The revised sentence is more clear and concise.

In conclusion, although there are many problems that require a lot of money to solve and most space missions have neither succeeded in their ultimate purpose nor produced any results, I am of the opinion that the search for a better place to colonize must be carried on for the reasons that our planet`s demise is predicted to be sooner than expected and we are exhausting our resources on the planet, which will eventually run out.

1. Lexical resource

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   Revised...we are depleting our resources on the planet, which will eventually be exhausted.

   The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.