Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #12, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
354 words. Marked by Axiom on 23 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2354 words
Some people want governments to spend money on other planets to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In a world where technological advancements have made it possible to survey other planets in the hope of finding life, some people expect the government to invest in this project. While others, including myself, believe that public funds should not be allocated to this pursuit, as many pressing issues on Earth remain unresolved.
Firstly, it ensures the survival of humanity. With threats like climate change, overpopulation, and resource depletion, finding another habitable planet could serve as a backup for future generations. Exploring space helps answer fundamental questions about the universe, such as the origin of life and the possibility of other extraterrestrial civilizations. For example, the recent discoveries of exoplanets in habitable zones have increased the likelihood of finding life beyond Earth.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe practice of investing in planetary exploration offers several long-term benefits to humanity.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the point being made.
Lexical resource
RevisedShould overpopulation result in uninhabitable conditions in the future, it may be necessary for humanity to seek alternative habitats beyond Earth that can provide the essential resources for survival.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic expression of the idea.
Lexical resource
RevisedAnother rationale for government funding of planetary exploration is the potential to expand human knowledge and satisfy our curiosity.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Many people are struggling with these problems, which are more important than space research. Instead, reallocating these funds to improve living conditions in impoverished regions of India and Africa would be a more ethical and impactful approach.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedConversely, some argue that investing in space exploration is a waste of public funds, given that urgent problems such as poverty, hunger, and lack of clean water remain unresolved.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more formal expression of the contrasting viewpoint.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAlthough space exploration has led to groundbreaking discoveries, repeated missions to familiar locations, such as the Moon, may yield diminishing returns.
The revised sentence corrects a minor grammatical error, improving the overall accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAllocating these funds to pressing global concerns could have a more immediate and tangible impact than funding space exploration.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct comparison, improving the overall clarity and accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedMoreover, it is these environmental issues such as pollution and deforestation that require urgent government attention.
The revised sentence corrects a minor word order error, improving the overall clarity and accuracy.
Lexical resource
RevisedRather than focusing on Mars, government funding could be better used to create a sustainable future for our planet through reforestation and pollution-control projects.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while space exploration presents certain benefits, the more practical and morally responsible approach may be for governments to prioritize urgent global challenges like environmental degradation and social inequality.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the conclusion.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and explained.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe practice of investing in planetary exploration offers several long-term benefits to humanity.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition to the point being made.
RevisedConversely, some argue that investing in space exploration is a waste of public funds, given that urgent problems such as poverty, hunger, and lack of clean water remain unresolved.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more formal expression of the contrasting viewpoint.
RevisedIn conclusion, while space exploration presents certain benefits, the more practical and morally responsible approach may be for governments to prioritize urgent global challenges like environmental degradation and social inequality.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the conclusion.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAlthough space exploration has led to groundbreaking discoveries, repeated missions to familiar locations, such as the Moon, may yield diminishing returns.
The revised sentence corrects a minor grammatical error, improving the overall accuracy.
RevisedAllocating these funds to pressing global concerns could have a more immediate and tangible impact than funding space exploration.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct comparison, improving the overall clarity and accuracy.
RevisedMoreover, it is these environmental issues such as pollution and deforestation that require urgent government attention.
The revised sentence corrects a minor word order error, improving the overall clarity and accuracy.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedShould overpopulation result in uninhabitable conditions in the future, it may be necessary for humanity to seek alternative habitats beyond Earth that can provide the essential resources for survival.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and academic expression of the idea.
RevisedAnother rationale for government funding of planetary exploration is the potential to expand human knowledge and satisfy our curiosity.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
RevisedRather than focusing on Mars, government funding could be better used to create a sustainable future for our planet through reforestation and pollution-control projects.
The revised sentence provides a more formal and precise expression of the idea.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task fully, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail and supported with relevant examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and reiterates the author's position.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you consistently use formal language and that your tone is appropriate for an academic essay.
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