Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #10, band 8.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

295 words. Marked by Axiom on 19 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2295 words

Some people want governments to spend money on other plants to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There is a debate over whether or not to spend money on planetary projects to look for life. While some people support this idea, others consider it to be a waste of government resources since there are many unsolved terrestrial issues. I tend to share the latter view.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedWhile some people support this idea, others consider it a waste of government resources, given the many unsolved terrestrial issues.
The revised sentence is clearer and more concise.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedI tend to agree with the latter view.
The term 'share the latter view' is not commonly used in this context. It would be more appropriate to say 'agree with the latter view.'

Proponents of space exploration argue that it has potential benefits. Admittedly, we are facing threats globally due to climate change and overpopulation, and therefore it is a matter of life and death to find a habitable planet for the survival of humanity. In doing so, it has been possible to see numerous breakthroughs from space exploration, making the lives of many much easier on our planet. These examples include the miniaturization of technology led to portable medical devices such as insulin pumps and improved water purification systems.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedAdmittedly, due to global threats like climate change and overpopulation, finding a habitable planet has become a matter of life and death for humanity.
The revised sentence is more concise and the structure is more natural.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThis has led to numerous breakthroughs from space exploration, which have significantly improved life on our planet.
The sentence is a bit confusing and the use of 'In doing so' is not ideal. The revised sentence is clearer and more direct.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedFor example, the miniaturization of technology has led to the creation of portable medical devices such as insulin pumps and improved water purification systems.
The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised sentence is more clear and concise.

I believe that there are counterarguments against space exploration. First, it would be rational to consider ethical concerns regarding funding allocation. In no way is it justifiable to invest in space projects when millions if not billions, suffer from malnutrition or poverty, especially in countries like India. It is also notable that results from space exploration are mostly intangible, meaning that it is far from easy to achieve a goal in this endeavour since reaching the nearest possible livable planet is beyond human intellect and capacity. Since the moon landings, there has been no significant improvement in the lives of ordinary people. Therefore, funds could be better allocated to essential areas such as education, healthcare, and infrastructure.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe ethical concerns regarding funding allocation should be considered first and foremost.
The revised sentence provides a stronger and more direct statement.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedAdditionally, the intangible nature of the results from space exploration suggests that achieving tangible goals in this field is extremely challenging, as reaching the nearest possible livable planet exceeds human intelligence and capacity.
The original sentence is long and confusing. The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.

In conclusion, space exploration offers insights and spin-off technologies, but it is a poor use of taxpayer money given the pressing needs on Earth. It is also important that ethical concerns and lack of tangible benefits outweigh the potential advantages of space exploration.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
Ensure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedI tend to agree with the latter view.
The term 'share the latter view' is not commonly used in this context. It would be more appropriate to say 'agree with the latter view.'
RevisedThis has led to numerous breakthroughs from space exploration, which have significantly improved life on our planet.
The sentence is a bit confusing and the use of 'In doing so' is not ideal. The revised sentence is clearer and more direct.
RevisedFor example, the miniaturization of technology has led to the creation of portable medical devices such as insulin pumps and improved water purification systems.
The original sentence is grammatically incorrect and awkward. The revised sentence is more clear and concise.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedWhile some people support this idea, others consider it a waste of government resources, given the many unsolved terrestrial issues.
The revised sentence is clearer and more concise.
RevisedAdmittedly, due to global threats like climate change and overpopulation, finding a habitable planet has become a matter of life and death for humanity.
The revised sentence is more concise and the structure is more natural.

Lexical resource

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 3

Revisedit is critical for the long-term survival of humanity to find a habitable planet.
The phrase 'a matter of life and death' is too strong in this context. The term 'critical' is more appropriate for discussing the long-term survival of humanity.
RevisedThe ethical concerns regarding funding allocation should be considered first and foremost.
The revised sentence provides a stronger and more direct statement.
RevisedAdditionally, the intangible nature of the results from space exploration suggests that achieving tangible goals in this field is extremely challenging, as reaching the nearest possible livable planet exceeds human intelligence and capacity.
The original sentence is long and confusing. The revised sentence is more concise and uses more appropriate vocabulary.

Task response

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more detailed explanation of the potential benefits of space exploration.

Suggestions

Consider providing a more detailed explanation of the potential benefits of space exploration.

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