Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #7, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
305 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 February 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2305 words
Some people want governments to spend money on other plants to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There is a debate over whether investing in space programs is a waste of money. While
some believe that channeling public funds into these programs yields positive results, I
side with those who argue that, given the existing problems on Earth, these programs
should not receive any government funding.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe proponents of space exploration argue that the potential benefits justify the investment.
Adding the article 'the' makes the sentence more specific and easier to understand.
They believe it is crucial to find another habitable planet to ensure the survival of the
human race, given the threats of climate change, nuclear war, and overpopulation.
Additionally, space research has led to many technological breakthroughs that benefit
everyday life. For example, the miniaturization of technology for space missions has
resulted in the development of portable medical devices like insulin pumps. Other
advancements, such as improved water purification systems and enhanced materials
for various industries, also stem from space exploration efforts.
As strong as these arguments are, the counterarguments bear more weight. One
relates to the ethical aspect of the situation. When millions of people are suffering from
malnourishment or living below the poverty line, investing billions of dollars into space
programs is unjustifiable. This is especially unacceptable in countries like India, where
millions of people lack access to basic necessities. Furthermore, space exploration has
not yielded any tangible results since the moon landings. The lives of ordinary people
have not improved in any meaningful way, so exploring space with the lofty goal of
improving people’s lives seems to be the antithesis of that. These huge funds could be
better spent on areas like education, public healthcare, and infrastructure.
In conclusion, while space exploration offers valuable insights into our planet and the
solar system, as well as spin-off technologies like insulin pumps, I believe that investing
in this cause when millions of people lack fundamental necessities is a poor use of
taxpayer money
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe proponents of space exploration argue that the potential benefits justify the investment.
Adding the article 'the' makes the sentence more specific and easier to understand.
RevisedIt is argued that these funds could be better spent on areas like education, public healthcare, and infrastructure.
Changing the sentence to passive voice makes it clear that this is a widely held belief.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe lives of ordinary people have not improved in any meaningful way, so it seems that exploring space with the lofty goal of improving people’s lives is counterproductive.
The use of 'that' at the end of the sentence is a bit awkward. Rephrasing the sentence makes it more concise and easier to understand.
RevisedThese funds could be better allocated to areas such as education, public healthcare, and infrastructure.
The phrase 'better spent on' is a bit informal. Using 'better allocated to' makes the sentence more formal and academic.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedThe lives of ordinary people have not improved in any meaningful way, so exploring space with the lofty goal of improving people’s lives seems to be counterproductive.
The term 'antithesis of that' is a bit awkward in this context. Using 'counterproductive' makes the sentence more concise and easier to understand.
RevisedI believe that investing in space exploration while millions lack fundamental necessities is a misallocation of taxpayer money.
The term 'this cause' is a bit vague in the context of the sentence. Using 'space exploration' makes the sentence more specific and clear.
Task response
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task fully and presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.
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