Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #8, band 7.0

In today’s fast-paced and digitalized world, the urgency of looking for life on other planets is increasing. Some people argue that governments should spend money on looking for life on other habitable planets, while others tend to think that it is a waste of public money when there are a lot of pressing issues we need to address on earth. In this essay, I will delve into both views and give my firm opinion about this topic.

The proponents of spending money to look for other planets argue that as the resources on earth is decreasing, it is becoming so urgent to find other habitable planets to colonize and find necessary resources to tackle the problems on earth. If we do not take immediate actions to solve the problems regarding lack of resources, next generations may struggle to live in prosperous life. For example, the company called “Nasa” is exploring the uncharted territories of the space to find habitable planets and resources that are important for people to reside on earth. By looking for other planets, I believe that people can address resource-based issues and ensure that human species will continue to live on earth.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedThe proponents of spending money to look for other planets argue that, as the resources on earth are decreasing, it is becoming increasingly urgent to find other habitable planets to colonize and access the necessary resources to address the problems on earth.

   The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas and ensures that the point is clearly and effectively communicated.

However, we also consider the importance of spending money on unsolved problems on our planet. This is because exploring other planets require a lot of money to spend and there is no guarantee whether we find habitable planets and resources that we lack. Considering this, it may be a waste of money spend a fortune on exploring the space. In my opinion, the allocation of money on tackling issues, such as climate change, deforestation and food scarcity is more important. Without solving these problems in the first place, human species can not last long. For example, in Africa, some countries are suffering from climate change and food scarcity, causing thousands of death among population. Without spending money on addressing these issues, we can not stand long on earth.

1. Coherence & cohesion

   Close revision note

   RevisedHowever, we must also consider the importance of investing in the resolution of unsolved problems on our planet.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct expression of the idea, improving the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.

2. Lexical resource

   Close revision note

   RevisedIn my opinion, prioritizing the allocation of money to tackle issues such as climate change, deforestation, and food scarcity is more important.

   The revised sentence provides a more natural and idiomatic phrasing, improving the overall quality of the writing.

3. Grammar & accuracy

   Close revision note

   RevisedWithout addressing these issues, we cannot sustain life on earth.

   The revised sentence provides a more natural and idiomatic phrasing, and corrects the contraction 'can not' to 'cannot'.

In conclusion, while I admit the importance of spending money to look for habitable planets for life, I believe that we should address the issues, such as climate change and food scarcity on earth in the first place since exploring the space may take decades and even centuries. Without tackling the issues on earth firstly, we cannot ensure the prosperity and longevity of human species on earth.