Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #13, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

300 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2300 words

Some people want governments to spend money on other plants to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

With the advent of technology, humans can do research whether there are other living species on other planets who can help us to develop. As this process requires large amount of money, some believe instead of spending the taxpayer’s money on this, allocating it to solve the existing issues makes more sense. I agree with this idea, although both perspectives have merit.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedAs this process requires a large amount of money, some believe that it makes more sense to allocate taxpayer’s money to solving existing issues instead of spending it on this.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.

Some individuals want space programs to be funded. This is because if we manage to find aliens on other planets and they are more developed than us, they may share the knowledge that can help to boost the life quality and invent things such as faster form transportation. Another key reason is that the natural resources like oil and gas are finite, and this group of people think aliens may have alternative technology that do not require those fossil fuels.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedThis is because if we manage to find aliens on other planets that are more advanced than us, they may share the knowledge that can enhance our quality of life and invent more efficient forms of transportation.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedAnother key reason is that some people believe that aliens, if they exist, may have alternative technology that does not require fossil fuels, as natural resources like oil and gas are finite.
The revised sentence is more natural and the ideas are expressed more clearly.

It indeed seems logical to distribute the money to these programs from this perspective. However, as we have plethora of problems here on the planet Earth, it is better to build the necessary infrastructure or help the people in need. For example, in some developing countries, the local people are living in extreme conditions. They do not have schools and hospitals, for instance, even if they have, they are not as good as the ones that operate in developed nations. Moreover, some people are starving and it is important to spend the money to improve these problems rather than being hopeful that aliens can help with these.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedFrom this perspective, it indeed seems logical to distribute the money to these programs.
The revised sentence has a better flow and is more coherent.

To sum up, exploring the outer space and other planets can be useful to make our lives easier as there is a possibility of finding resources or creatures capable of doing things like transporting faster than us. Although this is true, humanity should focus on the problems to achieve guaranteed results.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedDespite this, humanity should focus on the problems to achieve guaranteed results.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the transition is smoother.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedFrom this perspective, it indeed seems logical to distribute the money to these programs.
The revised sentence has a better flow and is more coherent.
RevisedDespite this, humanity should focus on the problems to achieve guaranteed results.
The revised sentence is more coherent and the transition is smoother.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied and sophisticated grammatical structure to convey complex ideas more effectively.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedWith the advent of technology, humans can conduct research to determine if there are other living species on other planets that can help us develop.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.
RevisedThis is because if we manage to find aliens on other planets that are more advanced than us, they may share the knowledge that can enhance our quality of life and invent more efficient forms of transportation.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and improves the clarity of the idea.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, with appropriate use of academic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and precision. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied and sophisticated use of language to convey complex ideas more effectively.

Sentence revisions 2

RevisedAs this process requires a large amount of money, some believe that it makes more sense to allocate taxpayer’s money to solving existing issues instead of spending it on this.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedAnother key reason is that some people believe that aliens, if they exist, may have alternative technology that does not require fossil fuels, as natural resources like oil and gas are finite.
The revised sentence is more natural and the ideas are expressed more clearly.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives on the issue and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer presents a well-structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The essay effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive in the discussion of each perspective.

Suggestions

Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.

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