Looking for life on other planets: IELTS Task 2 essay #15, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
309 words. Marked by Axiom on 9 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2309 words
Some people want governments to spend money on other planets to look for life. Others believe that it is a waste of public money when there are many unsolved problems on Earth. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Although investing in space exploration seems unnecessary due to some reasons associated with concerns, I totally believe space exploration can offer potential benefits.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSome people believe that it is considered to be a priority for governments to separate finance for searching for life on other planets; however, others think that, among other serious problems, this could be a waste of money for society.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the point being made.
While some of the world’s billionaires are spending their fortune on space exploration, there are many poor countries like India, suffering from poverty. Therefore, rather than to accomplish unclear exploration, rich societies have to help their poorer counterparts. Moon exploration, for instance, through finding new moon landings, the public cannot get any profit for the lives of ordinary people, instead of it they have to invest more funding in fields like education, healthcare or ecological issues that can affect the world’s population.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe first and most obvious argument against exploring space is the ethical concern regarding funding allocation.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedMore significantly, in these endeavors, most of the explorers face a lack of tangible results.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.
Secondly, nowadays, scientists are performing new technological breakthroughs from such explorations. For example, improved water purification systems and enhanced materials for industries have already been created as a result of space research.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, space exploration can present significant opportunities for people.
The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast to the previous point.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFirstly, finding another habitable planet for the survival of humanity could potentially provide a solution to today's pressing issues, such as climate change and overpopulation.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the point being made.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf the majority of the population were to migrate to another planet, the government could potentially "clean" the polluted countries and improve the overall condition of the Earth.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, while some may view space exploration as a waste of money, I believe it is a worthwhile investment, given its potential for technological advancements and problem-solving capabilities.
The revised sentence is more concise and formal.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe first and most obvious argument against exploring space is the ethical concern regarding funding allocation.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear.
RevisedOn the other hand, space exploration can present significant opportunities for people.
The revised sentence provides a clearer contrast to the previous point.
RevisedIn conclusion, while some may view space exploration as a waste of money, I believe it is a worthwhile investment, given its potential for technological advancements and problem-solving capabilities.
The revised sentence is more concise and formal.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more formal language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSome people believe that it is considered to be a priority for governments to separate finance for searching for life on other planets; however, others think that, among other serious problems, this could be a waste of money for society.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the point being made.
RevisedFor instance, in moon exploration, the public does not see any direct profit from the findings, and instead, more funding needs to be invested in areas like education, healthcare, and ecological issues that can benefit the world's population.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the point being made.
RevisedFirstly, finding another habitable planet for the survival of humanity could potentially provide a solution to today's pressing issues, such as climate change and overpopulation.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward construction and improves the clarity of the point being made.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more formal language could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe essay is logically structured, but could benefit from smoother transitions both between and within paragraphs.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses more formal language.
RevisedMore significantly, in these endeavors, most of the explorers face a lack of tangible results.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.
RevisedIf the majority of the population were to migrate to another planet, the government could potentially "clean" the polluted countries and improve the overall condition of the Earth.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing both perspectives and providing a clear personal opinion. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the essay is structured in a way that effectively communicates the ideas. However, the use of more formal language and the correction of minor grammatical errors could enhance the overall quality of the essay.
Suggestions
- Ensure that the argument is fully developed and supported with relevant examples.
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