Changing eating habits: IELTS Task 2 essay #4, band 7.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
231 words. Marked by Axiom on 27 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2231 words
Nowadays, eating habits of people around the world , are changin, causing them many health problems including obesity.Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits?
People can easily access unhealthy meals at a very low cost compared to healthier options, which are usually more expensive. The service at these restaurants is also very swift, which attracts even more customers who may be on a tight schedule.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedConsequently, many workers, who only have about an hour for lunch, often resort to affordable, yet unhealthy meals that are quick to prepare.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSeveral measures can be implemented to promote healthier eating habits.
The revised sentence is more direct and impactful.
Lexical resource
RevisedA potentially effective solution could be the introduction of a special tax on restaurants that sell unhealthy meals.
The revised sentence is more natural and formal in tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf the cost of unhealthy foods were higher, people might be less inclined to choose them, potentially leading to a switch to healthier options.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural in tone.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe revenue from this tax could be used to further promote healthy eating habits, thereby reducing obesity rates and other issues related to excess body weight.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
Although costly, this initiative would help to enhance their health, making them more productive and less prone to take sick leave.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFurthermore, extending the lunch break of workers could be a viable solution, as their current time may not allow for a proper meal.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, as the numerous drawbacks of this issue continue to proliferate, the government should introduce new tax measures to curb obesity, while also exploring the option of longer lunch breaks to promote healthy eating.
The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Consider using a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSeveral measures can be implemented to promote healthier eating habits.
The revised sentence is more direct and impactful.
RevisedFurthermore, extending the lunch break of workers could be a viable solution, as their current time may not allow for a proper meal.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear.
RevisedIn conclusion, as the numerous drawbacks of this issue continue to proliferate, the government should introduce new tax measures to curb obesity, while also exploring the option of longer lunch breaks to promote healthy eating.
The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedUnhealthy meals are easily accessible at a very low cost, in comparison to healthier options, which are usually more expensive.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
RevisedConsequently, many workers, who only have about an hour for lunch, often resort to affordable, yet unhealthy meals that are quick to prepare.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
RevisedMoreover, the government and private companies should consider extending their employees' lunch breaks, which are currently not long enough for a proper meal.
The revised sentence is more clear and direct.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedA potentially effective solution could be the introduction of a special tax on restaurants that sell unhealthy meals.
The revised sentence is more natural and formal in tone.
RevisedIf the cost of unhealthy foods were higher, people might be less inclined to choose them, potentially leading to a switch to healthier options.
The revised sentence is more precise and natural in tone.
RevisedThe revenue from this tax could be used to further promote healthy eating habits, thereby reducing obesity rates and other issues related to excess body weight.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.
Suggestions
- Include specific examples to support your arguments. In the second paragraph, you could provide an example of a country that has successfully reduced obesity rates through tax measures. In the third paragraph, you could provide an example of a company that has implemented flexible lunch break policies and seen an increase in employee productivity.
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