Changing eating habits: IELTS Task 2 essay #13, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
273 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 March 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2273 words
Nowadays eating habits of people around the world are changing, causing them many health problems including obesity. Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits?
In these days, it is true that a huge number of people's habits around the world are changing,
leading them to unhealthy diet and obesity. People are becoming
too dependent on fast preparing foods which may be the major issue nowadays.
Numerous people around the world are nowadays too busy with their responsibilities and work, and prefer ordering fast food from nearest restaurants, which can be the major reason for changing their eating habits.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor instance, many people who order fast food during their busy hours may gradually change their eating habits without even realizing that they are compromising their healthy eating habits.
The original sentence was a bit long and confusing. The revision provides a clearer and more concise version of the same idea.
In this situation, people can take up an online courses, which will help them lead a healthy lifestyle or even ask for useful advice from those who succeed. Many people lose their motivation when they don't see the result after all they have done within a week, but they can't really see the result in a short-term period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOn the other hand, these poor and unhealthy eating habits can be addressed as long as people take action to change them.
The sentence was a bit confusing, and the term 'spilt' is not typically used in this context. The revision provides a clearer and more natural way to express the idea.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, even though they may strive to follow a healthy lifestyle, they might find it challenging to do so.
The original sentence was a bit awkward and unclear. The revision provides a more coherent and precise way to express the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedTherefore, people who truly want to restore their healthy eating habits should consider giving up junk food or incorporating regular exercise into their routine.
The term 'return their healthy eating habits' is not typically used in this context. The revision provides a more natural and accurate way to express the idea.
However, people can enhance their eating habits by taking up physical actions or give up eating junk food gradually.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOverall, many people tend to eat poorly when they rely on fast food instead of preparing meals for themselves.
The original sentence was a bit awkward and unclear. The revision provides a more coherent and precise way to express the idea.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and provide a clear final thought.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedOn the other hand, these poor and unhealthy eating habits can be addressed as long as people take action to change them.
The sentence was a bit confusing, and the term 'spilt' is not typically used in this context. The revision provides a clearer and more natural way to express the idea.
RevisedHowever, even though they may strive to follow a healthy lifestyle, they might find it challenging to do so.
The original sentence was a bit awkward and unclear. The revision provides a more coherent and precise way to express the idea.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedTherefore, people who truly want to restore their healthy eating habits should consider giving up junk food or incorporating regular exercise into their routine.
The term 'return their healthy eating habits' is not typically used in this context. The revision provides a more natural and accurate way to express the idea.
RevisedOverall, many people tend to eat poorly when they rely on fast food instead of preparing meals for themselves.
The original sentence was a bit awkward and unclear. The revision provides a more coherent and precise way to express the idea.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedPeople are becoming overly dependent on fast food, which may be the primary issue contributing to their unhealthy eating habits.
The term 'fast preparing foods' is not typically used in this context. The revision provides a more natural and accurate way to express the idea.
RevisedFor instance, many people who order fast food during their busy hours may gradually change their eating habits without even realizing that they are compromising their healthy eating habits.
The original sentence was a bit long and confusing. The revision provides a clearer and more concise version of the same idea.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt and provides a relevant response, with the writer discussing the reasons for people's unhealthy eating habits and suggesting ways to improve them. However, the response could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer connection to the prompt. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.
Suggestions
- Ensure that your response is fully developed and supported with specific examples.
- Make sure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final thought.
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