Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #54, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
270 words. Marked by Axiom on 27 October 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2270 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
There is widely held perception in many parts of the world today that the number of animals and plants is falling.In the following essay, I aim to identify the sources of this problem and some viable solutions to it.
For example, in Uzbekistan animals cannot breath enough fresh air because of
Lexical resource
RevisedAir pollution is primarily responsible for this issue.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedNowadays, many people contribute to air pollution by driving cars that emit emissions into the atmosphere.
The revised sentence is more varied in terms of sentence structure and is more accurate.
car use and it leads to many diseases that can damage animals health or even plants.
Another contributing factor is the lack of awareness about ecosystem among people. For instance, loggers tend to cut down trees, which can lead to reducing the number of trees and plants in the environment.
Lexical resource
RevisedPeople contribute to environmental damage by littering in the streets and neglecting tree maintenance.
The revision is more natural and uses a more appropriate structure.
One further measure is that government should strike a balance between car use and increase the use of public transports. For example, animals would breathe fresh air and plants would obtain clear photosynthesis.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedTo address this issue, several measures need to be considered.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses a more appropriate structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedReducing private car usage could decrease air pollution and enhance the quality of life for both plants and animals.
The revision is more natural and uses a more appropriate structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAdditionally, planting a significant number of trees can have a substantial impact on maintaining a clean environment and enhancing the cultivation process for plants.
The revision is more concise and uses a more appropriate structure.
in conclusion, I consider this problem to be one of such complexity that no solution is likely in the short term.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, I believe that the measures outlined above could serve as a good initial response.
The revision is more accurate and the sentence structure is more varied.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedTo address this issue, several measures need to be considered.
The revised sentence is more concise and uses a more appropriate structure.
RevisedAnother measure involves governments finding a balance between private and public transportation.
The revision is more concise and uses a more appropriate structure.
RevisedAdditionally, planting a significant number of trees can have a substantial impact on maintaining a clean environment and enhancing the cultivation process for plants.
The revision is more concise and uses a more appropriate structure.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there is room for improvement in terms of sentence variety and complexity.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedNowadays, many people contribute to air pollution by driving cars that emit emissions into the atmosphere.
The revised sentence is more varied in terms of sentence structure and is more accurate.
RevisedIn Uzbekistan, animals struggle to breathe enough fresh air due to car emissions, leading to health damage in animals and plants.
The revision is more accurate and the sentence structure is more varied.
RevisedHowever, I believe that the measures outlined above could serve as a good initial response.
The revision is more accurate and the sentence structure is more varied.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedAir pollution is primarily responsible for this issue.
The revised sentence is more natural and easier to understand.
RevisedPeople contribute to environmental damage by littering in the streets and neglecting tree maintenance.
The revision is more natural and uses a more appropriate structure.
RevisedReducing private car usage could decrease air pollution and enhance the quality of life for both plants and animals.
The revision is more natural and uses a more appropriate structure.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and provides a well-developed response with relevant, extended and supported ideas. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.
Check your own essay on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 2 checker works.
Check an essay free