axiom

Shakefield town, 1995 and now: IELTS Task 1 answer #14, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

178 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The map this answer describes

Shakefield town, 1995 and now: what the maps show

1995

  • The central area above the main road is dominated by a Public park and a small Hotel.
  • The right-hand area above the road has Farm land in the top-right corner.
  • The coastal/marine area at the bottom left features a Fish market and Morning fish boat.

Present

  • The Public park was replaced by Holiday homes and a Car park.
  • The Farm land in the top right was replaced by a Golf Course and a Tennis Course.
  • The fishing facilities (Fish market and Morning fish boat) were replaced by Apartments and leisure Yachts in the sea.
  • The Sport area was replaced by a Restaurant, while Housing expanded.
  • The Hotel expanded in size, and the Coffee shop remained unchanged.
New by Present
Restaurant, Apartment, Holiday homes, Car park, Golf Course, Tennis Course, Yacht
Gone by Present
Sport, Fish market, Morning fish boat, Public park, Farm land

Academic Task 1178 words

The diagram below shows the changes of the town named Shakfield from 1995 until now.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe two maps illustrate the transformation of Shakfield town from 1995 to the present.

    Improved lexical choice for precision.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, it is clear that the area has modernized significantly, with changes in hotels, housing areas, and the establishment of new buildings.

    Improved sentence structure for clarity.

In 1995, the central part of the town mainly consisted of a public park with trees and a hotel.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedThe northeastern edge of the area was occupied by farmland.

    Corrected adjective form.

Housing units were placed on the west side of the town alongside the fish market.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe southern side bordered the sea, where several morning fishing boats were located.

    Enhanced vocabulary for better description.

Specifically, three big holiday homes have been constructed in the place which was previously a public park.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedCurrently, the town has undergone significant improvements, particularly in housing.

    Clarified the current state of the town.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedHotels have been redeveloped and have added more facilities.

    Corrected verb tense for consistency.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedAnother notable development is the construction of a golf and tennis course that replaced the farmland.

    Used more precise vocabulary.

There is a car park, which has been attached to the right side of the zone.

Also, the restaurant replaced the area for the sports.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedAdditionally, the fish market has been demolished to make way for an apartment building.

    Corrected grammatical error and improved clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized, but some transitions between ideas are abrupt or unclear.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Clearly differentiate between past and present changes.
  • Group similar changes together for clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, it is clear that the area has modernized significantly, with changes in hotels, housing areas, and the establishment of new buildings.

    Improved sentence structure for clarity.

  • RevisedCurrently, the town has undergone significant improvements, particularly in housing.

    Clarified the current state of the town.

  • RevisedAdditionally, the fish market has been demolished to make way for an apartment building.

    Corrected grammatical error and improved clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

There are some grammatical errors that affect clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedHotels have been redeveloped and have added more facilities.

    Corrected verb tense for consistency.

  • RevisedThe northeastern edge of the area was occupied by farmland.

    Corrected adjective form.

  • RevisedThe fish market has been knocked down to make way for an apartment.

    Corrected typographical error.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The vocabulary used is adequate but lacks variety and precision.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe two maps illustrate the transformation of Shakfield town from 1995 to the present.

    Improved lexical choice for precision.

  • RevisedAnother notable development is the construction of a golf and tennis course that replaced the farmland.

    Used more precise vocabulary.

  • RevisedThe southern side bordered the sea, where several morning fishing boats were located.

    Enhanced vocabulary for better description.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed comparisons and clarity in some areas.

Suggestions

  • Provide more detailed comparisons between 1995 and the present.
  • Ensure all changes are clearly described.
  • Include more specific details from the maps.

Check your own answer on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.

Check an essay free