Visitors to three areas: IELTS Task 1 answer #4, band 9.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
232 words. Marked by Axiom on 26 August 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| The coast | The mountains | The lakes | |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1987 | 40 | 20 | 10 |
| 1992 | 35 | 25 | 25 |
| 1997 | 48 | 30 | 40 |
| 2002 | 62 | 31 | 75 |
| 2007 | 75 | 35 | 50 |
Academic Task 1232 words
The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007.
The line graph illustrates the number of tourists from various countries who visited three different locations in a European country between 1987 and 2007. The figures are measured in thousands.
Overall, the number of visitors to the coast and lakes showed significant upward trends over the two decades, while the number of tourists to the mountains experienced a more modest increase. Notably, the number of visitors to the lakes surpassed that of the coast by 2002 before declining slightly towards the end of the period.
In 1987, the coast was the most popular destination, with approximately 40,000 tourists, while the lakes attracted only 10,000 visitors. However, by 1992, the number of visitors to the coast had slightly decreased to just over 30,000, before rising sharply to 70,000 in 2007.
Tourism to the lakes witnessed the most dramatic growth, climbing from 10,000 in 1987 to a peak of 75,000 in 2002. This figure then declined rapidly to 50,000 by 2007. In contrast, the mountains remained the least visited location throughout the period, starting at 20,000 visitors in 1987 and gradually increasing to 35,000 by 2007. Interestingly, the number of tourists to the mountains remained unchanged from 1997 to 2002.
In summary, while all three locations experienced growth in tourist numbers over the 20-year period, the lakes saw the most significant fluctuations, and the coast regained its popularity towards the end of the timeframe.
No passages are highlighted in this essay.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview and detailed information in separate paragraphs. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good range of linking expressions. The information is presented in a logical sequence and is easy to follow.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a high level of grammatical accuracy with a wide range of structures. Punctuation is used effectively, and there are no grammatical errors that would hinder understanding.
Lexical resource
Band 9.0/ 9
The writer uses a wide range of vocabulary accurately and appropriately. The language is varied and sophisticated, with only a few minor errors. The use of collocations and phrases is excellent, which enhances the overall quality of the essay.
Task achievement
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay fully satisfies all the requirements of the task. It provides a detailed and accurate description of the information presented in the graph, making appropriate comparisons where relevant. The essay is well-organized and clearly addresses the task, providing an excellent overview of the data.
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