Average house prices: IELTS Task 1 answer #5, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

210 words. Marked by Axiom on 22 November 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in thousand dollars. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand dollars)
	Country A	Country B	Country C
1997	150	125	100
1998	175	200	125
1999	200	225	125
2000	200	250	150
2001	300	275	150
2002	400	300	150
2003	550	300	175
2004	500	325	175
2005	475	375	200
2006	450	300	200
2007	500	275	225
2008	550	275	150
2009	600	375	250
2010	600	475	275
2011	600	500	275
2012	625	525	300
2013	600	500	300
2014	625	500	275

Academic Task 1210 words

The graph below shows the average house prices in 3 countries between the years 1997-2014.

The line graph presents the information about the medium accommodation costs in country A,B, and C over the 17 years from 1997 to 2014.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedThe line graph presents information about the average house prices in countries A, B, and C over the 17 years from 1997 to 2014.
Replaced 'medium accommodation costs' with 'average house prices' for accuracy.

Overall, it is evident that all countries experienced significant upward trends, along with some fluctuations throughout the period in question. Another interesting point is that the average house prices of country A reached a peak at the end of the period, while the reverse was true for country C, which was not observed significant changes during the highlighted period.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedAnother interesting point is that the average house prices of country A reached a peak at the end of the period, whereas country C did not experience significant changes.
The sentence was rephrased for clarity and to improve logical flow.

If we look at the details, a house prices in country A started at almost $200k, making it slightly expensive compared with others nations, which was approximately $160k for country B and $150k for country C. In the subsequent years, the figure for country A witnessed a dramatic increase, surpassing $500k. Following that it exhibited a modest oscillation between 2003 and 2010 before hitting a peak with almost $650k. In the case of country B, a house prices increased year on year, reaching above $350k in 2005. By 2010, the figure experienced a modest fluctuation and have remained stable at $500k.

Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedFollowing that, it exhibited a modest fluctuation between 2003 and 2010 before peaking at almost $650k.
Replaced 'oscillation' with 'fluctuation' for more appropriate context.
Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn the case of country B, house prices increased year on year, reaching over $350k in 2005.
Removed the article 'a' for grammatical correctness.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedBy 2010, the figure experienced a modest fluctuation and remained stable at $500k.
Corrected tense for consistency.

With regards to country C, the figure increased slowly reaching at almost $250k, before showing a small fluctuation in 2007 and having remained stable at $250k.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedRegarding country C, the figure increased slowly, reaching almost $250k before showing a small fluctuation in 2007 and then remaining stable at $250k.
Improved sentence structure for better coherence.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents a logical structure with an introduction, overview, and detailed paragraphs. However, there are some issues with clarity and logical flow.

Suggestions

Improve logical flow between sentences.
Clarify points about the trends in each country.
Ensure consistent use of terms.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedAnother interesting point is that the average house prices of country A reached a peak at the end of the period, whereas country C did not experience significant changes.
The sentence was rephrased for clarity and to improve logical flow.
RevisedIn the case of country B, house prices increased year on year, reaching over $350k in 2005.
Removed the article 'a' for grammatical correctness.
RevisedRegarding country C, the figure increased slowly, reaching almost $250k before showing a small fluctuation in 2007 and then remaining stable at $250k.
Improved sentence structure for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a range of grammatical structures, but there are several errors that affect clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedHouse prices in country A started at almost $200k, making it slightly more expensive compared with other nations.
Removed the article 'A' for grammatical correctness.
RevisedFollowing that, it exhibited a modest fluctuation between 2003 and 2010 before hitting a peak of almost $650k.
Added a comma for correct punctuation.
RevisedBy 2010, the figure experienced a modest fluctuation and has remained stable at $500k.
Corrected verb form for grammatical accuracy.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay utilizes a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. Some word choices could be improved for precision.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe line graph presents information about the average house prices in countries A, B, and C over the 17 years from 1997 to 2014.
Replaced 'medium accommodation costs' with 'average house prices' for accuracy.
RevisedFollowing that, it exhibited a modest fluctuation between 2003 and 2010 before peaking at almost $650k.
Replaced 'oscillation' with 'fluctuation' for more appropriate context.
RevisedBy 2010, the figure experienced a modest fluctuation and remained stable at $500k.
Corrected tense for consistency.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and provides an overview of the trends in house prices. However, some details could be more precise.

Suggestions

Provide more precise descriptions of trends.
Ensure all key details from the graph are included.

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