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Average house prices: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

126 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Country A, Country B, Country C for 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, in thousand dollars. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0200400600800199719992001200320052007200920112013
Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Country A, Country B, Country C for 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, in thousand dollars. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.020040060080019972001200520092013
Values in thousand dollars. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand dollars)
Country ACountry BCountry C
1997150125100
1998175200125
1999200225125
2000200250150
2001300275150
2002400300150
2003550300175
2004500325175
2005475375200
2006450300200
2007500275225
2008550275150
2009600375250
2010600475275
2011600500275
2012625525300
2013600500300
2014625500275

Academic Task 1126 words

The graph below shows the average house prices in 3 countries between the years 1997-2014.

in three differenet countries over a seventeen-year period between 1997-2014.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe graph highlights data about the average costs for houses...

    Corrected word choice from 'minimum' to 'average'.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, the graph shows a significant upward trend in house prices in Country A, while prices in Country C remained relatively stable.

    Improved sentence clarity and coherence.

Then the figure went up significantly finishing around 700k in 2014

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedLooking at the details, house prices in Country A started at around 200k in 1997 and rose dramatically after 2000.

    Corrected sentence structure and improved flow.

If we look at the C Country,the trend was similer.it grew steadily until the end reaching around 250k in 2014.

After that,,the figure levelled off in the last six years.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedHouse prices in Country B fluctuated around 400k until 2005.

    Simplified language for clarity.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    Revised...despite falling sharply to around 250k in 2008...

    Corrected spelling error.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay has some issues with cohesion and coherence. Some sentences lack clear connections, and transitions between ideas are not always smooth.

Suggestions

  • Use linking words to improve flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea.
  • Clarify comparisons and contrasts between countries.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, the graph shows a significant upward trend in house prices in Country A, while prices in Country C remained relatively stable.

    Improved sentence clarity and coherence.

  • RevisedLooking at the details, house prices in Country A started at around 200k in 1997 and rose dramatically after 2000.

    Corrected sentence structure and improved flow.

  • RevisedHouse prices in Country B fluctuated around 400k until 2005.

    Simplified language for clarity.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, what stands out from the graph is that...

    Corrected capitalization error.

  • RevisedLooking at the details, Country A's prices started at around 200k in 1997...

    Improved sentence structure.

  • Revised...despite falling sharply to around 250k in 2008...

    Corrected spelling error.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a limited range of vocabulary with some errors in word choice.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe graph highlights data about the average costs for houses...

    Corrected word choice from 'minimum' to 'average'.

  • Revised...while prices in Country C remained stable...

    Changed 'payings' to 'prices' for accuracy.

  • Revised...there was a dramatic rise after 2000.

    Corrected spelling and word form.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and some inaccuracies are present.

Suggestions

  • Provide more detailed comparisons between all three countries.
  • Ensure accuracy in describing trends and figures.

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