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Average house prices: IELTS Task 1 answer #1, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

163 words. Marked by Axiom on 4 November 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Country A, Country B, Country C for 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, in thousand dollars. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.0200400600800199719992001200320052007200920112013
Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph)Country A, Country B, Country C for 1997, 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2004, 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2014, in thousand dollars. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.020040060080019972001200520092013
Values in thousand dollars. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Average house prices (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (thousand dollars)
Country ACountry BCountry C
1997150125100
1998175200125
1999200225125
2000200250150
2001300275150
2002400300150
2003550300175
2004500325175
2005475375200
2006450300200
2007500275225
2008550275150
2009600375250
2010600475275
2011600500275
2012625525300
2013600500300
2014625500275

Academic Task 1163 words

The graph below shows the average house prices in 3 countries between the years 1997-2014.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe line graph illustrates the changes in house prices in three countries from 1997 to 2014.

    Clarified the subject and timeframe for better coherence.

P.1 Overall, it can be seen that prices in all three countries showed an upward trend.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe highest prices were observed in Countries A and B, while Country C had the lowest prices.

    Improved sentence structure for clarity.

P.2 The figures for country A grew abruptly to slightly more than 500k dollars by 2003 while the price in country B experienced a moderate growth to about 300k dollars.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedThe average cost of houses in Countries A and B was around 200k dollars.

    Corrected the verb usage for grammatical accuracy.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThis was followed by fluctuations in the subsequent years.

    Clarified the reference to 'this' for better coherence.

  3. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedFrom 2009 onwards, the price of housing in both countries remained almost stable at around 600k dollars in Country A and 100k dollars less for Country B until the end.

    Improved sentence structure and corrected 'till' to 'until' for grammatical accuracy.

Costs in country Ca rose slightly to 250k dollars by 2007 and was

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    Revised...slightly more than 250k by the end, despite a sudden decrease in 2008.

    Rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphs, but some connections between ideas could be clearer.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to connect ideas.
  • Clarify the sequence of events in the trends.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe line graph illustrates the changes in house prices in three countries from 1997 to 2014.

    Clarified the subject and timeframe for better coherence.

  • RevisedThe highest prices were observed in Countries A and B, while Country C had the lowest prices.

    Improved sentence structure for clarity.

  • RevisedThis was followed by fluctuations in the subsequent years.

    Clarified the reference to 'this' for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay shows a range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors that affect clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe average cost of houses in Countries A and B was around 200k dollars.

    Corrected the verb usage for grammatical accuracy.

  • RevisedFrom 2009 onwards, the price of housing in both countries remained almost stable at around 600k dollars in Country A and 100k dollars less for Country B until the end.

    Improved sentence structure and corrected 'till' to 'until' for grammatical accuracy.

  • Revised...slightly more than 250k by the end, despite a sudden decrease in 2008.

    Rephrased for clarity and grammatical correctness.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The vocabulary is appropriate with some variety, but there is room for more precise word choices.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe figures for Country A rose sharply to just over 500k dollars by 2003.

    Used 'rose sharply' for more precise language.

  • RevisedThe price in Country B experienced moderate growth to approximately 300k dollars.

    Used 'approximately' for more precise language.

  • RevisedCosts in Country C rose slightly to 250k dollars by 2007.

    Corrected the typo for consistency.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and describes the main trends, but lacks some specific details.

Suggestions

  • Include more specific data points from the graph.
  • Provide a clearer summary of the overall trends.

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