Australian exports to four countries: IELTS Task 1 answer #32, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
264 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 April 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Japan | US | China | India | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1990 | 26 | 11 | 2 | 1 |
| 1995 | 20 | 8 | 3 | 1 |
| 2000 | 18 | 11 | 5 | 1 |
| 2005 | 18 | 8 | 11 | 5 |
| 2010 | 17 | 5 | 25 | 7 |
| 2012 | 17 | 7 | 28 | 5 |
Academic Task 1264 words
The graph below shows the percentage of Australian export to four countries from 1990 to 2012.
The chart compares the proportion of Australian goods exported to four different countries – namely Japan, the US, China and India – over 22 years (1990-2012).
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, export levels to China and India increased over the period, although at different rates, whereas Japan and the USA experienced a decline.
The revision provides a clearer contrast between the trends.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMoreover, China's export percentage started low but eventually surpassed Japan's, making China Australia's most significant trade partner by the end of the period.
The revision clarifies the progression and outcome of the trends.
Focusing on the increases first, Australia export levels to China and India were similar, at around 3% and 2%, respectively. The proportion of Australian export to China rose dramatically to about 25% in 2010, before going up slightly and hitting the chart high of around 28%.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe former increased steadily, reaching 5%, while the latter remained stable until 2000.
The revision improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAfter increasing noticeably to around 8% in 2010, India's figure then decreased slightly to just above 5%.
The revision clarifies the sequence of events.
Japan imported over 25% of Australian products in 1990, a figure that then decreased significantly to 20% in 1995, before going down further to around 17%. The percentage of Australian export to the US stood at over 10% in 1990, a figure that then experienced a mild fluctuation, before hitting around 7% threshold, with the disparity between the levels of the US and India becoming negligible.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedConversely, Japan and the US had relatively higher export percentages in 1990.
The revision uses a more appropriate transition word and clarifies the comparison.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedDuring that period, there was a pronounced discrepancy of about 10% between China's and Japan's proportions.
The revision improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, some transitions between ideas could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more varied linking words to enhance flow.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, export levels to China and India increased over the period, although at different rates, whereas Japan and the USA experienced a decline.
The revision provides a clearer contrast between the trends.
RevisedMoreover, China's export percentage started low but eventually surpassed Japan's, making China Australia's most significant trade partner by the end of the period.
The revision clarifies the progression and outcome of the trends.
RevisedConversely, Japan and the US had relatively higher export percentages in 1990.
The revision uses a more appropriate transition word and clarifies the comparison.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with generally accurate use. Minor errors do not impede understanding.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe former increased steadily, reaching 5%, while the latter remained stable until 2000.
The revision improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
RevisedAfter increasing noticeably to around 8% in 2010, India's figure then decreased slightly to just above 5%.
The revision clarifies the sequence of events.
RevisedDuring that period, there was a pronounced discrepancy of about 10% between China's and Japan's proportions.
The revision improves grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some variety in word choice. However, there are occasional repetitions and less precise word choices.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe chart illustrates the percentage of Australian exports to four distinct countries.
The revision uses more precise vocabulary.
RevisedThe percentage of Australian exports to China surged to approximately 25% in 2010.
The revision replaces 'rose dramatically' with 'surged' for variety and precision.
RevisedJapan imported over 25% of Australian products in 1990, which then significantly decreased to 20% by 1995.
The revision improves clarity and flow.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task, providing a clear overview and detailed comparisons. The data from the graph is accurately interpreted and described.
Suggestions
- Ensure all key trends are highlighted and explained.
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