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Energy sources in Australia: IELTS Task 1 answer #5, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

241 words. Marked by Axiom on 11 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The pie chart this answer describes

Energy sources in Australia (IELTS Task 1 pie chart), 20082008: shares of Coal, Oil, Gas, Other, Solar, Wind, Hydro, in %. 2030 (predicted): shares of Coal, Oil, Gas, Other, Geothermal, Wind, Hydro, in %.
Energy sources in Australia (IELTS Task 1 pie chart), 2030 (predicted)2008: shares of Coal, Oil, Gas, Other, Solar, Wind, Hydro, in %. 2030 (predicted): shares of Coal, Oil, Gas, Other, Geothermal, Wind, Hydro, in %.
Values in %.
Show the data
Energy sources in Australia (IELTS Task 1 pie chart), 2008 (%)
Share
Coal39
Oil32.5
Gas22.9
Other3.8
Solar1.3
Wind0.3
Hydro0.2
Energy sources in Australia (IELTS Task 1 pie chart), 2030 (predicted) (%)
Share
Coal27
Oil35.5
Gas32
Other3.6
Geothermal4.3
Wind1.2
Hydro0.7

Academic Task 1241 words

THe pie charts show energy sources in Australia in 2008 and predictions for 2030.

The pie charts compare the percentages of seven sources to harness electricity in Australia in 2008 with a forecast for 2030. Notably,

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, coal and gas are predicted to experience significant changes in output, while other sources will see minimal or no changes.

    Clarified the sentence to improve coherence.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    Revisedproducing energy from the sun will be replaced by the geothermal method after 22 years.

    Corrected the verb tense and preposition usage.

In 2008, of energy in Australia was provided by using coal, being closely followed by second most popular method – oil – at . Next came energy output from gas with a 10% difference, closing top 3 list. Other sources of energy comprised 4.3%, while solar, hydro and wind electricity generation made up a total of 1.3 % in 2008.

  1. Lexical resource

    Reviseda significant 39%

    Replaced informal language with a more appropriate term.

  2. Lexical resource

    Revisedjust under 33%

    Replaced informal language with a more formal expression.

Oil and gas are forecast to have more than a third of energy output from each source, whereas coal will fall out of favor, with a slump of 14%, down to 22.3% in 2030.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedAfter 22 years, the top three energy sources are expected to remain the same, although their positions will change, alongside significant changes in renewable energy sources.

    Improved clarity and coherence by specifying the changes.

  2. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedDespite the similar share by other sources, clean energy sources are expected to undergo further changes.

    Improved clarity and coherence by rephrasing the sentence.

  3. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedSolar energy is set to be replaced by geothermal energy, which will be used at 2.3%. Wind and hydro energy sources will maintain their positions, showing negligible growth to 0.9% and 0.7%, respectively.

    Improved sentence structure and clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but some transitions between ideas are unclear.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to connect ideas.
  • Clarify the comparison between 2008 and 2030.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, coal and gas are predicted to experience significant changes in output, while other sources will see minimal or no changes.

    Clarified the sentence to improve coherence.

  • RevisedAfter 22 years, the top three energy sources are expected to remain the same, although their positions will change, alongside significant changes in renewable energy sources.

    Improved clarity and coherence by specifying the changes.

  • RevisedDespite the similar share by other sources, clean energy sources are expected to undergo further changes.

    Improved clarity and coherence by rephrasing the sentence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors.

Sentence revisions 3

  • Revisedproducing energy from the sun will be replaced by the geothermal method after 22 years.

    Corrected the verb tense and preposition usage.

  • RevisedOther sources will see less significant or no changes.

    Clarified the subject for grammatical accuracy.

  • RevisedSolar energy is set to be replaced by geothermal energy, which will be used at 2.3%. Wind and hydro energy sources will maintain their positions, showing negligible growth to 0.9% and 0.7%, respectively.

    Improved sentence structure and clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some precision, but there are occasional inaccuracies.

Sentence revisions 3

  • Revisedjust under 33%

    Replaced informal language with a more formal expression.

  • Reviseda significant 39%

    Replaced informal language with a more appropriate term.

  • Revisedwind and hydro energy sources

    Used more precise terminology for clarity.

Task achievement

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear overview, but some details are inaccurate or unclear.

Suggestions

  • Ensure accuracy in data representation.
  • Clarify the changes in energy sources between 2008 and 2030.

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