Energy sources in Australia: IELTS Task 1 answer #8, band 7.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
296 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 November 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The pie chart this answer describes
Show the data
| Share | |
|---|---|
| Coal | 39 |
| Oil | 32.5 |
| Gas | 22.9 |
| Other | 3.8 |
| Solar | 1.3 |
| Wind | 0.3 |
| Hydro | 0.2 |
| Share | |
|---|---|
| Coal | 27 |
| Oil | 35.5 |
| Gas | 32 |
| Other | 3.6 |
| Geothermal | 4.3 |
| Wind | 1.2 |
| Hydro | 0.7 |
Academic Task 1296 words
The charts below show energy source in Australia in 2008 and predictions for 2030.
The pie charts illustrate energy sources in a particular country since 2008, with projections up to 2040.
Overall, Coal and Oil was the highest energy source, and this trend is predicted to continue until 2030. Notably, the hydro energy source with no amount of energy, and is forecast to increase slightly, whereas all sources like hydro, geothermal, wind, and other showed similar patterns in both years, with no change.
my version
Lexical resource
RevisedThe pie charts depict the proportions of various energy sources in a specific country from 2008, with forecasts extending to 2030.
'Depict' and 'proportions' provide more precise vocabulary.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, coal and oil were the dominant sources of energy in 2008, a trend that is predicted to persist until 2030.
The revision connects the two clauses more smoothly.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, hydropower produced only a minimal amount of energy in 2008 and is expected to increase slightly by 2030. Other sources such as geothermal, wind, and 'other' are projected to follow similar patterns over the time frame.
The sentence is split for clarity and to avoid confusion.
However, the other four sources showed opposite patterns. Others made up 3.8%, while wind, solar, and hydro were far behind the major sources.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn 2008, coal and oil constituted the largest segments of energy production, at approximately 39% and 32.5%, respectively.
'Constituted' and 'segments' add variety to the vocabulary.
Lexical resource
RevisedGas was the third most significant energy source, accounting for 22.9%.
'Most significant' provides a more precise description.
There will be an increase in the percentage of gas energy sources to 32%.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedBy 2030, significant changes in energy sources are anticipated.
The revision provides a more concise and direct statement.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe forecast for oil shows a slight increase to 35.5%, whereas the estimate for coal indicates a decrease to 27%.
The revision corrects the grammatical structure for clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedGeothermal energy, not recorded in 2008, is projected to produce 4.3% of energy, closely followed by the 'other' category, which is expected to dip slightly to 3.2%.
Corrects punctuation and improves sentence flow.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe percentages of energy sources like wind and hydropower are expected to increase steadily to 1.2% and 0.7%, respectively.
Rephrased for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear progression of ideas. However, some sentences could be more logically connected to enhance coherence.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Avoid repetition of similar information.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, coal and oil were the dominant sources of energy in 2008, a trend that is predicted to persist until 2030.
The revision connects the two clauses more smoothly.
RevisedIn contrast, hydropower produced only a minimal amount of energy in 2008 and is expected to increase slightly by 2030. Other sources such as geothermal, wind, and 'other' are projected to follow similar patterns over the time frame.
The sentence is split for clarity and to avoid confusion.
RevisedBy 2030, significant changes in energy sources are anticipated.
The revision provides a more concise and direct statement.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe forecast for oil shows a slight increase to 35.5%, whereas the estimate for coal indicates a decrease to 27%.
The revision corrects the grammatical structure for clarity.
RevisedGeothermal energy, not recorded in 2008, is projected to produce 4.3% of energy, closely followed by the 'other' category, which is expected to dip slightly to 3.2%.
Corrects punctuation and improves sentence flow.
RevisedThe percentages of energy sources like wind and hydropower are expected to increase steadily to 1.2% and 0.7%, respectively.
Rephrased for grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but there is room for more variety and precision.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe pie charts depict the proportions of various energy sources in a specific country from 2008, with forecasts extending to 2030.
'Depict' and 'proportions' provide more precise vocabulary.
RevisedIn 2008, coal and oil constituted the largest segments of energy production, at approximately 39% and 32.5%, respectively.
'Constituted' and 'segments' add variety to the vocabulary.
RevisedGas was the third most significant energy source, accounting for 22.9%.
'Most significant' provides a more precise description.
Task achievement
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, covering key features and providing a clear overview.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data points are accurately represented.
- Avoid unnecessary repetition of information.
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