Energy sources in Australia: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
231 words. Marked by Axiom on 11 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The pie chart this answer describes
Show the data
| Share | |
|---|---|
| Coal | 39 |
| Oil | 32.5 |
| Gas | 22.9 |
| Other | 3.8 |
| Solar | 1.3 |
| Wind | 0.3 |
| Hydro | 0.2 |
| Share | |
|---|---|
| Coal | 27 |
| Oil | 35.5 |
| Gas | 32 |
| Other | 3.6 |
| Geothermal | 4.3 |
| Wind | 1.2 |
| Hydro | 0.7 |
Academic Task 1231 words
The pie charts show energy sources in Australia in 2008 and predictions for 2030.
The pie charts compare the percentages of seven sources to harness electricity in Australia in 2008 with a forecast for 2030.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, coal and gas are predicted to experience dramatic changes in output; however, other sources will see minimal or no changes.
Added a linking word to improve the connection between ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedNotably, energy production from the sun is expected to be replaced by geothermal methods by 2030.
Clarified the time reference and improved sentence structure.
In 2008, an overwhelming 39% of energy in Australia was provided by using coal, being closely followed by second most popular method – oil – at just under 33%.
Lexical resource
RevisedGas followed with a 10% difference, completing the top three energy sources.
Improved clarity and word choice.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOther energy sources comprised 4.3%, while solar, hydro, and wind electricity generation collectively accounted for 1.3% in 2008.
Improved parallel structure and clarity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2030, the top three energy sources are expected to remain the same, although their rankings will change, accompanied by significant shifts in renewable energy sources.
Improved clarity and sentence structure.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOil and gas are predicted to each contribute over a third of the energy output, whereas coal is expected to decline by 14% to 22.3% in 2030.
Improved clarity and grammatical accuracy.
Lexical resource
RevisedDespite maintaining similar shares, clean energy sources are anticipated to undergo further changes.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedSolar energy is expected to be replaced by geothermal energy, which will account for 2.3% of the total.
Clarified the sentence for better understanding.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedWind and hydro energy sources will remain in the last positions, showing negligible growth to 0.9% and 0.7%, respectively.
Improved sentence structure and punctuation.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical sequence but lacks clear linking devices and transitions between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Improve the flow between sentences.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, coal and gas are predicted to experience dramatic changes in output; however, other sources will see minimal or no changes.
Added a linking word to improve the connection between ideas.
RevisedNotably, energy production from the sun is expected to be replaced by geothermal methods by 2030.
Clarified the time reference and improved sentence structure.
RevisedIn 2030, the top three energy sources are expected to remain the same, although their rankings will change, accompanied by significant shifts in renewable energy sources.
Improved clarity and sentence structure.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with occasional errors.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOther energy sources comprised 4.3%, while solar, hydro, and wind electricity generation collectively accounted for 1.3% in 2008.
Improved parallel structure and clarity.
RevisedOil and gas are predicted to each contribute over a third of the energy output, whereas coal is expected to decline by 14% to 22.3% in 2030.
Improved clarity and grammatical accuracy.
RevisedWind and hydro energy sources will remain in the last positions, showing negligible growth to 0.9% and 0.7%, respectively.
Improved sentence structure and punctuation.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, though some word choices are repetitive or imprecise.
Sentence revisions 4
RevisedA significant 39% of Australia's energy was generated from coal.
Replaced 'overwhelming' with 'significant' for precision.
RevisedGas followed with a 10% difference, completing the top three energy sources.
Improved clarity and word choice.
RevisedSolar energy is expected to be replaced by geothermal energy, which will account for 2.3% of the total.
Clarified the sentence for better understanding.
RevisedDespite maintaining similar shares, clean energy sources are anticipated to undergo further changes.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, summarizing key features and making comparisons.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data from the charts.
- Ensure all key features are covered.
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