axiom

Employment in five types of work: IELTS Task 1 answer #72, band 7.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

191 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 December 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The bar chart this answer describes

Employment in five types of work (IELTS Task 1 bar chart)2001, 2008 for Sales, Accounting, Computing, Nursing, Farming, in people. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.050,000100,000150,000200,000SalesAccountingComputingNursingFarming
Employment in five types of work (IELTS Task 1 bar chart)2001, 2008 for Sales, Accounting, Computing, Nursing, Farming, in people. Values are approximate, read from the original chart.050,000100,000150,000200,000SalesAccountingComputingNursingFarming
Values in people. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.
Show the data
Employment in five types of work (IELTS Task 1 bar chart) (people)
20012008
Sales155,000165,000
Accounting66,00058,000
Computing59,00079,000
Nursing56,00060,000
Farming29,00019,000

Academic Task 1191 words

The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work in one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main points and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart compares the number of Australian people working in five different types of employment in 2001 and 2008.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, Sales was the most popular sector in both years, employing the majority of people, whereas Farming employed the least.

    Improves clarity and contrast between the two sectors.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedNotably, employment in three sectors increased by 2008, whereas the other two sectors saw a decline.

    Simplifies the expression for clarity.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedIn 2001, the largest number of people worked in Sales, at just under 160,000, which increased to approximately 163,000 in 2008.

    Simplifies the sentence structure for better readability.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedComputing followed closely, with numbers rising from 60,000 to 80,000 by 2008, marking the highest growth.

    Clarifies the sentence and removes unnecessary complexity.

  3. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedIn contrast, the number of employees in Nursing showed the least change, with a slight rise to 60,000 in 2008.

    Reorders the sentence for better coherence.

However, the number of accounting and farming employees exhibited downward figures. In 2001, more than 60,000 people were working in accounting, after which the figures dropped to exactly 60,000.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe number of farmers was about 30,000 in 2001, decreasing to 20,000 in 2008, the lowest figure on the chart.

    Streamlines the sentence for better clarity.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is well-organized with a clear structure. The information is logically divided into paragraphs, and there is a clear comparison between the years 2001 and 2008.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to enhance flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, Sales was the most popular sector in both years, employing the majority of people, whereas Farming employed the least.

    Improves clarity and contrast between the two sectors.

  • RevisedIn 2001, the largest number of people worked in Sales, at just under 160,000, which increased to approximately 163,000 in 2008.

    Simplifies the sentence structure for better readability.

  • RevisedIn contrast, the number of employees in Nursing showed the least change, with a slight rise to 60,000 in 2008.

    Reorders the sentence for better coherence.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with few errors.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedIn contrast, the number of employees in Nursing showed the least change, with a slight rise to 60,000 in 2008.

    Corrects punctuation and improves sentence structure.

  • RevisedIn 2001, the largest number of people worked in Sales, at just under 160,000, which increased to approximately 163,000 in 2008.

    Improves sentence structure for accuracy.

  • RevisedComputing followed closely, with numbers rising from 60,000 to 80,000 by 2008, marking the highest growth.

    Enhances grammatical accuracy by simplifying the sentence.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The vocabulary used is appropriate and varied, with some attempts at using more complex expressions.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedNotably, employment in three sectors increased by 2008, whereas the other two sectors saw a decline.

    Simplifies the expression for clarity.

  • RevisedComputing followed closely, with numbers rising from 60,000 to 80,000 by 2008, marking the highest growth.

    Clarifies the sentence and removes unnecessary complexity.

  • RevisedThe number of farmers was about 30,000 in 2001, decreasing to 20,000 in 2008, the lowest figure on the chart.

    Streamlines the sentence for better clarity.

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay effectively addresses the task, summarizing and comparing the data accurately.

Suggestions

  • Ensure all key data points are mentioned.
  • Avoid unnecessary repetition.

Check your own answer on this question

Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.

Check an essay free