Raising the cost of fuel: IELTS Task 2 essay #1, band 9.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
262 words. Marked by Axiom on 16 August 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2262 words
Some people believe that the best way to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that the most effective way to deal with ecological issues is by increasing the prices of fuel for cars and other types of transportation. I fully disagree with this idea because fuel is not the only source of environmental problems. Also, the suggested solution is likely to anger people and may not lead to sustainable transitions.
Despite the harm of fuel, it is obviously not the only reason why environmental problems occur. Deforestation, for instance, is driven by human greed to make money, meaning simply increasing the cost of fuel would not directly tackle huge issues such as forests being cleared. The growing problem of waste is another example that cannot be fully addressed by merely raising the cost of fuel. Clearly, examples for both of these modern-day ecological issues support the same argument.
If prices for fuel were to be increased tomorrow, it would cause more anger than joy. Billions of people still rely on fuel, and that includes not only using cars but also powering industries, for instance. Simply put, the proposed rise in fuel costs might not be a rational decision, as it could lead to challenges related to transportation, employment, and a country's economic stability. Furthermore, current ecological solutions, like the adoption of electric vehicles, demonstrate that there are no immediate remedies to environmental challenges, as even electric vehicles require time for widespread acceptance.
In conclusion, making fuel more expensive might not be the best approach, as it can introduce new challenges and does not address unrelated issues like the waste crisis and deforestation.
No passages are highlighted in this essay.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and related to the topic. The body paragraphs each contain a clear main idea and support this idea effectively.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of grammatical structures accurately. There are no grammatical errors and the punctuation is accurate and appropriate.
Lexical resource
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The writer demonstrates a flexible use of a wide vocabulary, with very natural and sophisticated control of lexical features.
Task response
Band 9.0/ 9
The essay fully addresses the requirements of the task. It presents a clear position throughout the response, and supports this position with relevant examples. The essay also covers the other major causes of environmental damage, such as deforestation and waste, and discusses the potential negative impacts of the proposed solution. The writer's position is clear and well-supported.
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