Raising the cost of fuel: IELTS Task 2 essay #4, band 7.5

In recent years, individuals argue that the best decision to solve the global environmental issues can be done only by increasing the price of fuel. I believe it is a wrong idea, and I disagree with this notion, and I will explain why alternative solutions are more effective in addressing this issue in the following paragraphs.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedI believe this is a misguided idea, and I disagree with this perspective

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On the one hand, one potential solution to environmental issues is to reduce the number of cars in urban areas. However, the government should not increase the cost, especially the price of fuel or cars. I believe that increasing the cost of things not only fails to solve the problems but also creates dissatisfaction with the government and problems among the citizens. For instance, even if fuel prices are increased, people may reluctantly agree and purchase fuel out of necessity. Therefore, increasing fuel prices is arguably one of the least effective methods to address environmental challenges.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the one hand, a potential solution to environmental issues could be reducing the number of cars in urban areas.

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2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedI believe that increasing the cost of fuel not only fails to solve the problem but also creates dissatisfaction with the government and issues among the citizens.

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3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedFor instance, even if fuel prices are increased, people may reluctantly agree to purchase fuel out of necessity.

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On the other hand, even if the prices are increased, citizens will look for easier alternatives. Additionally, in our digital era, electric cars are being produced, and they have significantly less impact on the environment and are more comfortable than traditional cars. Moreover, they do not need to be fueled; they simply recharge using electricity, which makes them a cleaner alternative to fuel-powered vehicles. In addition, individuals are taking this approach and are starting to buy electric cars. For example, the demand for electric cars is increasing day by day while many big manufacturers, such as Tesla or BYD, are making more cars than before. Thus, electric cars do not emit toxic gases and are environmentally convenient.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the other hand, even if the prices are increased, citizens may seek alternative options.

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2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedFor instance, the demand for electric cars is rapidly increasing as major manufacturers, such as Tesla and BYD, ramp up production.

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3. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedThus, electric cars, which do not emit toxic gases, are a more environmentally friendly option.

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In conclusion, although increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to protect the environment, I do not agree on this issue. However, the government should explore other solutions that are more sustainable and widely supported by citizens.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn conclusion, I disagree with the notion that increasing the cost of fuel is the best way to protect the environment.

   The revised sentence is more clear and direct.