Raising the cost of fuel: IELTS Task 2 essay #8, band 7.0

It’s said by some people that making fuel more expensive can be one the most effective solutions to environmental issues. Even though I mostly agree that it can discourage people from unnecessary driving and push car market to produce eco friendly cars, I still think that it might be unfair to low income families or students and cause inflation.

With an increasing number of people owning private cars, they use their vehicle pretty much every time they need to commute somewhere even though they can just walk or cycle. Expensive petrol can make people more considerate about how much of it they use and therefore decrease the number of cars on the streets. Fewer cars not only mean less traffic but it also cuts the amount of greenhouse gas emitted to the air.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAs the number of people owning private cars increases, they often use their vehicles for commuting even when walking or cycling is a more eco-friendly option.

   The revised sentence is more concise and the idea is expressed more clearly.

Another benefit of high-priced gasoline is that it will be a great opportunity to switch people to environmentally safer options of cars. Electronic cars might seem attractive in public’s perspective as it’s a cheaper option. Demand for this type of cars will force car markets to improve and expand their offerings.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnother potential benefit of high-priced gasoline is that it could encourage a switch to more environmentally friendly car options.

   The revised sentence is more concise and the idea is expressed more clearly.

2. Lexical resource

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   RevisedElectric cars may seem attractive to the public as they are a cheaper option.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.

However, despite these advantages, I still believe that it can create unnecessary challenge for some people. Firstly, commuting expenses might drain low class families and students financially. Some people are barely making their day trying to feed their family. In some countries like Uzbekistan people are already struggling with fuel bills, and the public transportation is not enough to accommodate public.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedIn some countries like Uzbekistan, people are already struggling with fuel costs, and public transportation is insufficient to accommodate the public.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.

Moreover, fuel is important in almost every sector that its price increase will cause a change in overall cost of living. Factories and farms using fuel powered machine face higher operating costs, which also leads to price increase in their products.

In conclusion, rise in petrol prices will most likely decrease the amount of time private cars are used and popolarize eco friendly cars, therefore reducing carbon dioxide emitted to the atmosphere. But it is still crucial to think about strugles it comes with to lower class, like increase in cost of living.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedHowever, it is still crucial to consider the struggles it poses to the lower class, such as an increase in the cost of living.

   The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic.