Raising the cost of fuel: IELTS Task 2 essay #9, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
276 words. Marked by Axiom on 24 February 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2276 words
Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Some individuals claim that one of the major ways to minimize environmental
troubles is increasing a price of fuel for all vehicles. I firmly disagree with this
point, as there are other contributing factors such as air pollution from factories, disposal of wastes to rivers, which directly affects a
quality of water we consume and droughting of seas suffering from this
trouble.
Nowadays, a majority of people argue that the best solution to environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for transports. I completely against this
view, as fuel is not only option for cars to move around. A salient example of
this is electronic cars, that do not consume fuel, as they run on electricity. However, there are these factors that pose a risk to our environment.
One of them is factory. Factories produce a serious air-pollutants which causes
air pollution to most of countries worldwide. Recently, it reached its
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedUzbekistan is neither the first nor the last developing nation suffering from air pollution.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing, making the meaning clear and the expression more natural.
highest point as the country having the lowest quality of air. People even wore
masks to prevent themselves from health-related illnesses that air poses.
Another major issue is people who dispose of their wastes to rivers, lakes and
even on the streets. Probable that water filled with pollutants, water loses its
purity which also affects the purification process. Additionally, it is the
leading cause for oceans that droughting in the long run. To tackle such
problems, the government should take actions and provide training to raise
environmental consciousness among citizens.
To sum up, increasing the cost of fuel cannot solve the environment-related
troubles, as other factors pose much greater risks.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne significant factor is the emissions from factories, which produce serious air pollutants and contribute to air pollution in numerous countries worldwide.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and better connection to the main point of the paragraph.
RevisedAnother significant issue is the improper disposal of waste in rivers, lakes, and even on the streets.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more concise way to express the idea.
RevisedIn conclusion, increasing the cost of fuel may not be an effective solution to environmental troubles, as other factors pose much greater risks and should be addressed more urgently.
The revised conclusion provides a more effective summary of the main points and reiterates the stance.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and a variety of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. These could be addressed through careful proofreading. Additionally, the use of more formal language would be more appropriate throughout the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI firmly disagree with this point, as there are other contributing factors such as air pollution from factories and the disposal of wastes to rivers, which directly affect the quality of water we consume and contribute to the droughting of the seas.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical errors, making the meaning clear and the expression more natural.
RevisedUzbekistan is neither the first nor the last developing nation suffering from air pollution.
The revision corrects the awkward phrasing, making the meaning clear and the expression more natural.
RevisedPeople even wore masks to protect themselves from the health-related illnesses that air pollution poses.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and the incorrect use of 'prevent'.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical resource. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would be more appropriate.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedI am completely against this view
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error, making the meaning clear and the expression more natural.
RevisedA salient example of this is electric cars, which do not consume fuel as they run on electricity.
The revision corrects the word choice from 'electronic' to 'electric' and rephrases the sentence for clarity.
RevisedAdditionally, it is the leading cause of oceans experiencing droughts in the long run.
The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing, making the meaning clear and the expression more natural.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay clearly addresses the prompt by discussing the limitations of using an increase in fuel prices as a solution to environmental problems. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be further developed with more specific and varied examples. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Include more specific and varied examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point or idea.
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