Parks turned into gardens: IELTS Task 2 essay #7, band 8.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

268 words. Marked by Axiom on 3 July 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2268 words

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, some cities are turning public parks into gardens where people can grow fruits and vegetables.I believe the disadvantages are more serious because parks are needed for many important activities in cities.

One benefit of changing open spaces into gardens is that people can grow their own food, which is healthier and cheaper. For example, if a family grows tomatoes, carrots, and herbs at home, they don’t need to buy them from the market. This helps save money and gives access to organic food. This is especially helpful in poor areas where not everyone can afford fresh produce.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedOne advantage of transforming open spaces into gardens is the opportunity it provides for people to grow their own food, offering a healthier and more cost-effective option.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more precise information.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedThis not only helps save money, but also provides access to organic food.
The revision completes the sentence with a more accurate conjunction, enhancing the clarity and flow.

Another advantage is that gardening can keep people physically active. For example, elderly people who don’t like going to the gym can work in the garden by planting seeds or watering plants. This gives them light exercise and fresh air, which is good for their heart and mental health. It also keeps them busy and happy.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedAdditionally, gardening can promote physical activity, serving as a beneficial pastime for individuals, especially the elderly.
The revision provides a clearer connection to the previous point and more specific information.

However, turning parks into gardens can create problems for the city and people. One big issue is that parks are made for many people to relax, walk, and do sports. If they are replaced with gardens, these activities may stop. For instance, in a large city like Tashkent, if parks are turned into gardens, people will lose places for jogging or open-air events. This may make city life more boring and less healthy.

Lexical resource
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RevisedOne significant concern is that parks are designed to be inclusive spaces for relaxation, walking, and sports activities.
The revised sentence uses more precise language to convey the intended meaning.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedFor instance, in a large city like Tashkent, the transformation of parks into gardens may result in a lack of spaces for jogging or open-air events.
The revision provides a more accurate and clear expression of the scenario.
Lexical resource
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RevisedThis could potentially detract from the vibrancy of city life and compromise the overall health of the community.
The revision uses more formal language and provides a more precise explanation.

In short, urban gardening has some clear benefits for health and food. However, the negative sides are stronger for city life. Parks are used by many people for different reasons. Cities should protect parks and create gardens in unused areas instead.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn conclusion, while urban gardening presents certain benefits for health and food security,
The revised sentence provides a more effective lead-in to the conclusion.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedCities should prioritize the preservation of parks and consider the establishment of gardens in neglected areas.
The revised sentence uses more formal language and provides a more precise explanation.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly presented. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOne advantage of transforming open spaces into gardens is the opportunity it provides for people to grow their own food, offering a healthier and more cost-effective option.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition and more precise information.
RevisedAdditionally, gardening can promote physical activity, serving as a beneficial pastime for individuals, especially the elderly.
The revision provides a clearer connection to the previous point and more specific information.
RevisedIn conclusion, while urban gardening presents certain benefits for health and food security,
The revised sentence provides a more effective lead-in to the conclusion.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedToday, some cities are converting public parks into gardens, allowing residents to cultivate their own fruits and vegetables.
The revised sentence provides a more clear and direct statement of the current situation.
RevisedThis not only helps save money, but also provides access to organic food.
The revision completes the sentence with a more accurate conjunction, enhancing the clarity and flow.
RevisedFor instance, in a large city like Tashkent, the transformation of parks into gardens may result in a lack of spaces for jogging or open-air events.
The revision provides a more accurate and clear expression of the scenario.

Lexical resource

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedOne significant concern is that parks are designed to be inclusive spaces for relaxation, walking, and sports activities.
The revised sentence uses more precise language to convey the intended meaning.
RevisedThis could potentially detract from the vibrancy of city life and compromise the overall health of the community.
The revision uses more formal language and provides a more precise explanation.
RevisedCities should prioritize the preservation of parks and consider the establishment of gardens in neglected areas.
The revised sentence uses more formal language and provides a more precise explanation.

Task response

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Consider summarizing the main points made in the essay in the conclusion to provide a more complete response to the task.

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