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A new international language: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 8.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

335 words. Marked by Axiom on 28 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2335 words

Some people think that we should invent a new language for international communication. Will the benefits of this outweigh the problems associated with it?

In the modern world, where globalization continues to bridge cultural and linguistic divides, some advocate for creating a new universal language to facilitate international communication. In my view, the problems of inventing and implementing such a language outweigh its advantages.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedWhile this proposal may offer certain benefits, the associated challenges should not be overlooked.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

Firstly, it could eliminate misunderstandings caused by language barriers, enabling seamless interaction between people from different nations. For instance, in international business and diplomacy, a common language could ensure clarity and foster stronger cooperation. Secondly, a universal language might promote cultural equality by providing a neutral linguistic platform that does not favor one existing language over another, thereby avoiding the dominance of widely spoken languages such as English.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedInventing a universal language, on the one hand, could address several issues in global communication.

    This revision helps to better connect the sentence with the following ideas.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedFinally, it could simplify education systems by reducing the need to learn multiple foreign languages, thereby allowing students to focus on other academic pursuits.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

Governments, educational institutions, and media outlets would need to invest enormous resources in teaching and promoting it, which might be impractical, especially for developing nations. Additionally, cultural resistance could arise, as languages are deeply tied to identity and heritage. Many communities may perceive the new language as a threat to their traditions and refuse to adopt it. Moreover, the process of achieving global consensus on the language's structure, vocabulary, and usage would likely lead to prolonged debates and conflicts, undermining the very goal of unity it seeks to achieve.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe problems associated with creating and implementing a new language, on the other hand, are significant.

    This revision helps to better connect the sentence with the previous and next ideas.

  2. Lexical resource

    RevisedOne major issue would be the logistical and financial challenge of introducing the language globally.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

In conclusion, while the idea of a universal language has the potential to enhance international communication and foster equality, the challenges of implementation, cultural resistance, and resource allocation make it an impractical solution. Therefore, I believe the drawbacks of such an initiative outweigh its benefits, and instead, efforts should focus on improving existing systems for multilingual communication.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions

  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and explained.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedInventing a universal language, on the one hand, could address several issues in global communication.

    This revision helps to better connect the sentence with the following ideas.

  • RevisedThe problems associated with creating and implementing a new language, on the other hand, are significant.

    This revision helps to better connect the sentence with the previous and next ideas.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedWhile this proposal may offer certain benefits, the associated challenges should not be overlooked.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

  • RevisedMoreover, cultural resistance could arise, given that languages are deeply tied to identity and heritage.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

Lexical resource

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

Sentence revisions 2

  • RevisedFinally, it could simplify education systems by reducing the need to learn multiple foreign languages, thereby allowing students to focus on other academic pursuits.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

  • RevisedOne major issue would be the logistical and financial challenge of introducing the language globally.

    The revised sentence provides a more accurate representation of the intended meaning.

Task response

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions

  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.

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