Less study, more physical activity: IELTS Task 2 essay #7, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
290 words. Marked by Axiom on 29 September 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2290 words
Parents should encourage children to spend less time studying and more time doing physical activities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
However, some people argue that children should do more physical activities, rather than learning and parents should encourage tham. I strongly disagree with this view for two main reasons.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIt’s necessary to receive education at a young age.
The revised sentence is more natural and fluent.
Lexical resource
RevisedIt’s more effective to study for the right amount of time rather than too much or too little.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more precise language.
Doing physical activities keeping time from studying may be effective in some cases, however it may be the reverse in others. Parents and instructors are best helpers to select best duration for children. if they both encourage children in proper time it will help the later studies of the student. For example, in the one of the well-known medical school in Uzbekistan Colba instructors and teaching staff are prepare individual graphics for every student, therefore their candidates are entering medical universities.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSo, it’s better to study at specific individual time periods.
The revised sentence is grammatically accurate.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedEvery child masters things at different rates; some learn in a few hours, while others take days.
The revised sentence is more coherent and grammatically accurate.
Lexical resource
RevisedParents will adjust the learning period based on the home curriculum, while teachers will adapt it based on the student's abilities.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice.
It just needs to make up correct daily routines for children and parents should control them.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedChildren can engage in physical activities without it taking up time from their studying.
The revised sentence is grammatically accurate and more clear.
Lexical resource
RevisedSometimes, many young people spend their leisure time taking advantage of the internet era by playing online games or scrolling deep, instead of playing outside with their friends or doing some exercises or sports.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedEspecially when their parents are not at home or when they are busy with work.
The revised sentence is grammatically accurate and more concise.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, it is important for students to have the right amount of time to master their studies, with appropriate guidance and control in their daily routines.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your points in each paragraph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIt’s necessary to receive education at a young age.
The revised sentence is more natural and fluent.
RevisedEvery child masters things at different rates; some learn in a few hours, while others take days.
The revised sentence is more coherent and grammatically accurate.
RevisedIn conclusion, it is important for students to have the right amount of time to master their studies, with appropriate guidance and control in their daily routines.
The revised sentence is more clear and concise.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is some evidence of a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and some sentences are difficult to understand.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedSo, it’s better to study at specific individual time periods.
The revised sentence is grammatically accurate.
RevisedChildren can engage in physical activities without it taking up time from their studying.
The revised sentence is grammatically accurate and more clear.
RevisedEspecially when their parents are not at home or when they are busy with work.
The revised sentence is grammatically accurate and more concise.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIt’s more effective to study for the right amount of time rather than too much or too little.
The revised sentence is more natural and uses more precise language.
RevisedParents will adjust the learning period based on the home curriculum, while teachers will adapt it based on the student's abilities.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice.
RevisedSometimes, many young people spend their leisure time taking advantage of the internet era by playing online games or scrolling deep, instead of playing outside with their friends or doing some exercises or sports.
The revised sentence is more accurate in terms of word choice.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your argument and support it with specific examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
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