Imported or local food: IELTS Task 2 essay #2, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
315 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 March 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2315 words
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food?
In today’s fast-paced and digitalized world, the importance of food and making it available for all population is increasing. In many parts of the world, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than locally produced food. In this essay, I will delve into the reasons behind this trend and give my suggestions how to encourage people to buy local food.
, it is not a secret that not all locally produced foods are high in quality. Given that, individuals are going for imported foods compared to choosing low-quality ones. Secondly, some types of food are not locally produced. Without the availability of such food, people have no other option but to purchase food imported from another countries. For example, in my country, some types of bananas and mangoes are not produced locally, making customers for imported food.
Lexical resource
RevisedOne of the main reasons why many people prefer buying imported food is the perceived quality of the products
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice.
It is a fact that making ant products affordable can attract local customers. By making affordable and reducing the cost of locally produced food, we can encourage people to choose local food over imported ones. Knowing that purchasing local food can contribute to prosperity and economy of the country, people may choose locally produce food over imported ones.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn my opinion, implementing certain policies and methods could encourage people to buy local food.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother way to attract people to locally produced food is to inform them about its significance.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the two parts of the sentence.
In my opinion, in order to attract local customers to locally produced food, the implementation of policies, such as making affordable and reducing the cost of food, as well as informing people about its significance on the prosperity and economy of the country should be done.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the low quality of local food and the unavailability of some types of locally produced food may be factors that drive people to opt for imported options.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the two parts of the sentence.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the importance of the suggested measures.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn my opinion, implementing certain policies and methods could encourage people to buy local food.
The revised sentence provides a smoother transition between ideas.
RevisedIn conclusion, the low quality of local food and the unavailability of some types of locally produced food may be factors that drive people to opt for imported options.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the two parts of the sentence.
RevisedAnother way to attract people to locally produced food is to inform them about its significance.
The revised sentence provides a clearer connection between the two parts of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that could be rephrased for better clarity. The essay uses a variety of complex and simple sentence structures, with a good level of accuracy. However, there are a few minor errors in grammar and punctuation that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of a wider range of grammatical structures, such as passive constructions, would enhance the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the main reasons why many people prefer buying imported food is the quality of the products
The revised sentence corrects a minor error in the sentence structure.
RevisedIn my opinion, there are some policies and methods that should be implemented to encourage people to buy local food.
The revised sentence corrects a minor error in the sentence structure.
RevisedAnother way to attract people to locally produced food is to inform them about its significance.
The revised sentence corrects a minor error in the sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the main reasons why many people prefer buying imported food is the perceived quality of the products
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice.
RevisedIn my opinion, certain policies and methods should be implemented to encourage people to buy local food.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice and collocation.
RevisedAnother way to attract people to locally produced food is to inform them about its significance.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate word choice and collocation.
Task response
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the essay is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, the body paragraphs could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and examples. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more varied sentence structure to enhance the overall quality of the writing.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea.
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