Foreign or local films and TV: IELTS Task 2 essay #7, band 6.5

It's widely believed that importing overseas films and TV programs has good impact on a country's culture, while others argue that producing them locally is a better option. On the one hand, importing TV programs and films influence the traditions, especially culture awareness of country. Far from low-budget local films with common scrips, overseas filmmakers may offer more creative storytelling and styles. Furthermore, it has a significant influence on people's perception of culture in general by presenting different aspects of foreign countries. US films are a great example of such factors as they illustrate American culture and everyday life. Thus, some may advocate for importing overseas films and TV programs.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIt's widely believed that importing overseas films and TV programs has a positive impact on a country's culture, while others argue that it is better to produce them locally.

   The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear statement of the idea.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedOn the one hand, importing TV programs and films can influence the country's traditions and cultural awareness.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer and more direct statement of the idea.

3. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedUnlike low-budget local films with common scripts, overseas filmmakers may offer more creative storytelling and style.

   The revision provides a clearer contrast between local and foreign films.

On the other hand, some people argue that it has negative effects on the culture and it's better to produce them locally. Creating TV programs locally offers several advantages, which is especially crucial for preserving culture values by demonstrating traditions and cultures on the films. In additation, producing local films creates more opportunities for the long-term development of the domestic film industry. Comparing with well-developed films from abroad, local tv programs may seem worse, but for improving industry, people must focus on promoting them. Therefore, I firmly believe that local organizations should focus on producing and developing local industry instead of the import of overseas TV programs.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIn addition, producing local films can create more opportunities for the long-term development of the domestic film industry.

   The revised sentence corrects the misspelling of 'addition' and provides a clearer statement of the idea.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedCompared to well-developed films from abroad, local TV programs may seem inferior, but it is important for the industry to focus on promoting them for improvement.

   The revision provides a more accurate and clear statement of the idea.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedTherefore, I am a firm believer in the importance of local organizations focusing on the production and development of local industry over the import of overseas TV programs.

   The revision provides a more natural and emphatic phrasing.

In conclusion, while foreign shows offer new ideas, I agree with statement that local industries must prioritize local filmmakers and TV production to help our culture strong and support our creators.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn conclusion, while foreign shows may offer new ideas, I agree with the statement that local industries must prioritize local filmmakers and TV production to strengthen our culture and support our creators.

   The revision provides a more accurate and clear statement of the idea.