Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #13, band 8.0

Across the world, more and more animal and plant species are becoming endangered or at risk of extinction. I believe that the main drivers of this development are climate change and human activity, and that people and governments need to make collective efforts to reduce their individual and industrial impacts on the environment to preserve flora and fauna.

First and foremost, climate change poses a significant danger to biodiversity. Animal and plant species which, for millions of years, have not adapted to living in severe weather conditions may be extremely vulnerable to a slight rise in temperature, which may be compounded by desertification and prolonged droughts, potentially driving these species to extinction. A salient example of this can be pandas, species which are susceptible to habitat loss and global warming. Over the last century, these animals have suffered highly from climate change and no longer exist in the wild.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnimal and plant species that have not adapted to severe weather conditions may be extremely vulnerable to a slight rise in temperature, compounded by desertification and prolonged droughts, potentially driving these species to extinction.

   The revision improves the flow of ideas by making the sentence more concise and direct.

Another biggest driver of extinction of animal and plant species is humans. Population growth in many countries is increasingly leading to urbanization at the expense of massive deforestation. These forests which are cut down to accommodate people are home to thousands of species of animals and plants, which are displaced from their homes and become extinct. Amazon rainforests, for example, are shrinking to build more housing, leaving numerous animals and plants homeless. Furthermore, humans are also disturbing the ocean biodiversity with incessant transit of ships, spilling oil and dumping toxic waste that can be harmful if eaten by marine animals. Coral reefs of the Pacific, a home to millions of ocean species, are being reduced as a result of oil spills and wrong waste disposal – an urgent call for action.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn many countries, increasing population growth is leading to urbanization and massive deforestation.

   The revision corrects the awkward phrasing, making the sentence more clear and concise.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedForests, often cut down to accommodate people, are home to thousands of species of animals and plants, which are displaced from their homes and may face extinction.

   The revision improves the sentence structure, making it more concise and easier to understand.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedAmazon rainforests, for instance, are being deforested to construct more housing, thereby leaving numerous animals and plants homeless.

   The revision improves the word choice, making the sentence more clear and concise.

4. Lexical resource

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   RevisedThe Pacific's coral reefs, home to millions of ocean species, are being diminished due to oil spills and improper waste disposal – a clear signal for urgent action.

   The revision improves the word choice, making the sentence more clear and impactful.

In order to protect animals and plants from going extinct, individuals need to find ways of reducing their impact on the environment. For instance, they can adopt more environmentally responsible practices by realizing the magnitude of the problem. This understanding may urge people to reduce their carbon footprint, which may help animal and plant species to survive.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedTo protect animals and plants from extinction, it is crucial for individuals to reduce their environmental impact.

   The revision improves the sentence by making it more direct and clear.

More transformative solutions can be implemented by governments on a large scale. One way of preserving animal and plant species is to establish national parks, where human activity is in step with the preservation of species. Yellow stone national park can serve as an excellent example of such projects. The establishment of the park since the last century has helped conserve a variety of critically endanged plants and animals as well as marking an important step in reintroducing extinct species such as Wolves in the area.

1. Lexical resource

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   RevisedGovernments can implement more transformative, large-scale solutions.

   The revision improves the sentence by making it more clear and concise.

2. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedThe park's establishment since the last century has helped conserve a variety of critically endangered plants and animals and marked an important step in reintroducing extinct species such as wolves in the area.

   The revision corrects the word spelling and improves the sentence structure.

On top of that, national reforestation programmes can also encourage the preservation of animal and plant species. Gabon, one of the leading producers of wood, for example, enforces selectively logging, in which not more than one tree can be felled every hectare, allowing forests to regenerate as well as preserve biodiversity that they hold.

In conclusion, the reduction in flora and fauna is mainly attributed to global warming and human influence on habitat. Despite the volume of industrial impact on the environment, individuals and governments can collaboratively prevent species from dying out. The examples of national parks and ongoing efforts to regenerate forests can foster optimism in helping animal and plant species not only survive but thrive in the face of climate change and rising industries.