Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #34, band 8.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
322 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 August 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2322 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
However, they could be effectively addressed through measures such as implementing strict land use regulations and reducing greenhouse gas emissions.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe declining populations of various animal and plant species have become a critical concern that requires immediate attention.
The revised sentence is more accurate and natural in terms of vocabulary and collocation.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThis problem is primarily caused by habitat destruction due to urbanization and by climate change which is a result of human activities.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity.
As cities grow and forests are cleared for agriculture or infrastructure, countless species are forced out of their environments, pushing many towards extinction. A solution would be to enforce strict land-use regulations and establish more protected areas, such as national parks and nature reserves. These measures would preserve ecosystems and provide safety
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe primary reason for biodiversity loss is the destruction of natural habitats, which occurs due to urban expansion.
This revision provides a more direct and clear statement of the main point.
Lexical resource
RevisedFor example, in some ecologically sensitive areas, the construction of skyscrapers and resorts is driven by the need to attract tourists.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedOver time, such developments lead to the removal of green spaces, thereby leaving wildlife without shelter or food sources.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity.
Rising global temperatures, altered rainfall patterns, and extreme weather events disrupt migration, breeding cycles, and food availability for many species. For example, polar bears are experiencing severe habitat loss as melting sea ice shortens their hunting season and reduces access to their primary prey, seals.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedClimate change, largely driven by greenhouse gas emissions, could be another significant cause of this issue.
This revision improves the sentence structure for better clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedAddressing this issue requires countries to commit to cutting greenhouse gas emissions by investing in renewable energy sources, such as solar and wind power, and by promoting sustainable practices like eco-friendly farming.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity.
Lexical resource
RevisedThese steps would help stabilize the climate and alleviate the stress on vulnerable ecosystems.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression.
By protecting natural habitats through strict land-use policies and reducing greenhouse gas emissions via sustainable energy and agricultural practices, it is possible to slow or even reverse the decline in biodiversity.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn conclusion, the reduction in animal and plant species' populations is primarily the result of habitat loss and climate change, both of which are caused by human activities.
This revision provides a more coherent and clear conclusion.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs and conclusion. The ideas are logically sequenced and well connected using appropriate linking words.
Suggestions
- Continue to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe primary reason for biodiversity loss is the destruction of natural habitats, which occurs due to urban expansion.
This revision provides a more direct and clear statement of the main point.
RevisedClimate change, largely driven by greenhouse gas emissions, could be another significant cause of this issue.
This revision improves the sentence structure for better clarity and coherence.
RevisedIn conclusion, the reduction in animal and plant species' populations is primarily the result of habitat loss and climate change, both of which are caused by human activities.
This revision provides a more coherent and clear conclusion.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. A few minor errors are present but they do not impede communication.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThis problem is primarily caused by habitat destruction due to urbanization and by climate change which is a result of human activities.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity.
RevisedOver time, such developments lead to the removal of green spaces, thereby leaving wildlife without shelter or food sources.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity.
RevisedAddressing this issue requires countries to commit to cutting greenhouse gas emissions by investing in renewable energy sources, such as solar and wind power, and by promoting sustainable practices like eco-friendly farming.
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is used appropriately and accurately.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe declining populations of various animal and plant species have become a critical concern that requires immediate attention.
The revised sentence is more accurate and natural in terms of vocabulary and collocation.
RevisedFor example, in some ecologically sensitive areas, the construction of skyscrapers and resorts is driven by the need to attract tourists.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression.
RevisedThese steps would help stabilize the climate and alleviate the stress on vulnerable ecosystems.
The revised sentence provides a more accurate and clear expression.
Task response
Band 8.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task. It presents a clear position throughout the response. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.
Suggestions
- Continue to ensure that each paragraph fully addresses the task and is well supported by relevant examples.
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