Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #32, band 4.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
250 words. Marked by Axiom on 10 August 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2250 words
In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?- cause & solution
The issue of declining the number of animals and plants , which has increasingly become a critical concern , requires immediate attention. This problem , caused primarily by deforestation destroys habitats and climate change , can be effectively addressed through measures such as protect natural areas and reduce pollution. One driving force behind why we are declining a lot of animal and plants in many countries because of natural habitats due to deforestation and urban expansion. When forests are cut down for agriculture , roads and buildings .If we continue to destroy forest and pollute the environment , more animals and plants will become extinct in the future.The most effective solution would be to protect natural areas their animals and plants. This can stopping deforestation, planting more trees and creating special place such as national parks and gardens. Another significant cause of animals and plants decline is that most industries and factories can be harmful waste include air , water and soil. Also , if people stop throw rubbish in nature and clean in the environment, animals and plants can live healthy place.A potential solution to this issue is improving waste management , promoting recycling, Also,it would help protect the environment and animal , plants is better chance to survive. In conclusion, one huge problem we are undegoing is declining animals and plants which is happening due to deforestation destroys habitats and climate change. To address this critical problem , it is necessary to protect natural areas and reduce pollution.
No passages are highlighted in this essay.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne driving force behind the decline of animals and plants in many countries is the destruction of natural habitats due to deforestation and urban expansion.
The sentence is revised to improve clarity and coherence.
RevisedThis problem, caused primarily by deforestation and climate change, can be effectively addressed through measures such as protecting natural areas and reducing pollution.
The sentence is revised to correct the placement of the comma and improve clarity.
RevisedAlso, it would help protect the environment, giving animals and plants a better chance to survive.
The sentence is revised to correct the grammar and improve clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder the overall clarity and readability. These include issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a greater variety of sentence structures to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical control.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining.
The sentence is revised to correct the unnecessary symbol '$' at the beginning.
RevisedThe issue of declining numbers of animals and plants has increasingly become a critical concern and requires immediate attention.
The sentence is revised to correct the awkward phrasing and improve clarity.
RevisedAnother significant cause of the decline in animals and plants is the pollution caused by industries and factories, which include harmful waste such as air, water, and soil.
The sentence is revised to correct the awkward phrasing and improve clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of synonyms to avoid repetition could be improved.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOne of the reasons for the decline of animals and plants in many countries is the destruction of their natural habitats due to deforestation and urban expansion.
The sentence is revised to correct the awkward phrasing and improve clarity.
RevisedThe most effective solution would be to protect natural areas and their wildlife.
The sentence is revised to correct the awkward phrasing and improve clarity.
RevisedAlso, if people stop throwing rubbish in nature and start cleaning the environment, animals and plants will have a healthier living environment.
The sentence is revised to correct the awkward phrasing and improve clarity.
Task response
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the response could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons behind the decline of animals and plants in many countries and proposing some solutions. However, the response could be more fully developed, with more specific examples and a clearer connection between the ideas. The essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the proposed solutions and a stronger conclusion that summarizes the main points and reiterates the proposed actions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea and is well supported by relevant examples.
Check your own essay on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 2 checker works.
Check an essay free