Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #25, band 8.0

In various countries, the populations of animal and plant species are declining. The reasons for this can mainly be attributed to several factors, including illegal hunting, climate change and deforestation of lands. However, there are various strategies - such as restricting hunting animals and expanding areas for vegetation - to solve this issue.

1. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedIn various countries, declining populations of animal and plant species are a significant concern.

   The revised sentence corrects the awkward phrasing and makes the meaning more clear and direct.

One major factor of the decline in animal and plant populations is illegal hunting. When large numbers of animals are illegally hunted without government authorization, especially endangered species, it disrupts the natural food chain, leading to ecological imbalances. As a result, the decline in animal populations negatively impacts plant species, as fewer pollinators contribute to reduced pollination and fertilization. To tackle this problem, one effective solution is to restrict the hunting of animals at risk of extinction. By regulating and restricting hunting practices, the complete eradication of certain animal species can be prevented.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedIllegal hunting is one major factor contributing to the decline in animal and plant populations.

   This revision makes the sentence more concise and direct, which improves the flow of ideas.

Another critical reason, building on the previous one, is climate change. Extreme temperatures, whether excessively heat or cold, create harsh conditions that many animal species cannot survive, leading to their decline. Additionally, large-scale deforestation for urban development, including hotels, restaurants, and various entertainment facilities, reduces green spaces and negatively impacts plant growth. The situation can be changed for the better by establishing protected zones for plant preservation and imposing restrictions on tree cutting. Government should create specialized areas to improve vegetation and implement monitoring systems. Furthermore, by strengthening laws and enforcing strict measures against illegal logging can help prevent the extinction of plant species.

1. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedAnother critical reason, which builds on the previous one, is climate change.

   The revised sentence provides a clearer connection to the previous point.

2. Coherence & cohesion

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   RevisedThe situation can be improved by establishing protected zones for plant preservation and imposing restrictions on tree cutting.

   The revised sentence is more concise and direct, which improves the flow of ideas.

3. Lexical resource

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   RevisedGovernments should establish protected areas to promote vegetation and implement monitoring systems.

   The revised sentence uses a more formal tone and a more precise verb, which improves the overall quality of the writing.

4. Grammar & accuracy

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   RevisedFurthermore, strengthening laws and enforcing strict measures against illegal logging can help prevent the extinction of plant species.

   The revised sentence corrects the grammatical structure, making it more clear and direct.

In conclusion, the driving factors behind the loss of animals and plants are illegal hunting and deforestation. However, by implementing strict conservation laws, restricting the hunting of endangered species, and expanding protected green spaces, we can preserve both fauna and flora.