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Declining animals and plants: IELTS Task 2 essay #10, band 9.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

406 words. Marked by Axiom on 8 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2406 words

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

One of the most pressing global challenges today is the loss of biodiversity, which is occurring at an unprecedented rate across many regions. This alarming trend can be primarily attributed to human activities and climate change. However, effective strategies can be implemented to mitigate its impact and restore ecological balance.

The significant decline in flora and fauna is driven by several factors, with human activities being a leading cause. Deforestation, for instance, is widespread as forests are cleared to provide wood for construction and paper production, meeting the growing demands of an increasing population. Additionally, land conversion for agriculture is depriving countless animal species of their natural habitats. Beyond habitat destruction, overexploitation of wildlife through poaching has exacerbated the crisis. Many species are hunted for experimentation, traditional medicine, and trade, often as a means of livelihood. These human-induced actions have been detrimental to ecosystems, accelerating biodiversity loss on a massive scale.

Climate change further compounds the issue by pushing numerous species to the brink of extinction. Altered weather patterns and rising temperatures make survival challenging for species sensitive to environmental changes. A case in point is the polar bear, which faces severe threats due to the melting of Arctic sea ice caused by global warming. With their habitats becoming increasingly inhospitable and hunting opportunities diminishing, these animals are left with few alternatives. Migration offers limited respite, as suitable habitats are scarce. This exemplifies how climate change is critically endangering both animal and plant species worldwide.

Addressing biodiversity loss requires a comprehensive and multifaceted approach. First and foremost, it is essential to identify regions with the highest concentration of endangered species and address the specific threats they face. For human-induced causes, strict regulations should be enforced to limit activities such as illegal hunting and the conversion of wildlife habitats into agricultural land. Measures such as imposing heavy fines or legal penalties can deter destructive behaviors and promote sustainable practices. Conservation initiatives, including the establishment of protected areas and reforestation programs, are equally critical. These measures aim to restore lost habitats, providing a sanctuary for species to recover and thrive.

In conclusion, biodiversity loss is primarily driven by human activities, such as habitat destruction and poaching, as well as the far-reaching effects of climate change. Nevertheless, by implementing strict regulations, promoting conservation programs, and restoring degraded ecosystems, this devastating trend can be mitigated. Collective action and sustainable practices are essential to preserving the planet’s biodiversity for future generations.

No passages are highlighted in this essay.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 9.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and well-structured. The introduction and conclusion are clear and related to the topic. The body paragraphs each focus on a single main idea and are well-developed with relevant examples and explanations.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 9.0/ 9

The essay uses a variety of complex sentence structures and shows a high level of grammatical control. There are no significant grammatical errors.

Lexical resource

Band 9.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a wide range of vocabulary and uses it appropriately. There are no significant issues with word choice or spelling.

Task response

Band 9.0/ 9

The essay fully addresses all parts of the task. It presents a well-developed response with relevant, extended and supported ideas. The writer's position is clear and well-supported.

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