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University library, 2005 and today: IELTS Task 1 answer #1, band 7.0

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

232 words. Marked by Axiom on 17 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The plan this answer describes

University library, 2005 and today: what the plans show

University library, 2005

  • The layout combines bookshelves, large study tables, borrowing/returns, computer desks and an office.

University library, today

  • Private study desks replace the earlier central arrangement.
  • Automated borrowing is shown on the left and student-laptop desks are shown on the right and bottom.
Gone by University library, today
Library office

Academic Task 1232 words

The maps show a university library in 2005 and the same library today.

  1. Lexical resource

    RevisedThe maps depict the changes in the layout of a university library from 2005 to the present.

    Using 'depict' for more precise language.

The current view reveals that it has transformed into a more open space with the automation of the book borrowing service, increased number of private desks and tables for laptop use.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedOverall, bookshelves were a dominant feature of the library, which also included a traditional book borrowing and returning section, as well as a line of desktop computers.

    Combining sentences for better flow.

In 2005, three large bookshelves occupied three sides of the library: the western, the northern and southern parts. Right after the entrance from the south were three rows of study tables. The library office was in the southeast corner of the building.

  1. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedStudents could borrow and return books from a section next to the study tables, beyond which were several desks with computers.

    Improving sentence structure for clarity.

Specifically, the only bookshelf that stands to this day is the one that is in the northern side.

  1. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedSince 2005, the library's layout has undergone significant changes.

    Clarifying the time reference for better coherence.

  2. Grammar & accuracy

    RevisedAnother significant modification is the automation of book borrowing services, which now fully occupies the right-hand side of the entrance.

    Correcting subject-verb agreement.

  3. Coherence & cohesion

    RevisedThe central area of the building now features numerous private study desks.

    Rephrasing for clarity and cohesion.

  4. Lexical resource

    RevisedNow, students can use their own laptops in a designated area extending from the entrance to the northeast.

    Simplifying and correcting spelling error ('entrance').

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay is generally well-organized with a clear structure. There is a logical progression of ideas, but some sentences could be better connected.

Suggestions

  • Use more linking words to improve flow.
  • Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
  • Avoid abrupt transitions.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedOverall, bookshelves were a dominant feature of the library, which also included a traditional book borrowing and returning section, as well as a line of desktop computers.

    Combining sentences for better flow.

  • RevisedSince 2005, the library's layout has undergone significant changes.

    Clarifying the time reference for better coherence.

  • RevisedThe central area of the building now features numerous private study desks.

    Rephrasing for clarity and cohesion.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with minor errors.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedAnother significant modification is the automation of book borrowing services, which now fully occupies the right-hand side of the entrance.

    Correcting subject-verb agreement.

  • RevisedThe layout of the library has significantly changed since then.

    Using 'layout' for more accurate terminology.

  • RevisedStudents could borrow and return books from a section next to the study tables, beyond which were several desks with computers.

    Improving sentence structure for clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary appropriately, but some word choices could be more precise.

Sentence revisions 3

  • RevisedThe maps depict the changes in the layout of a university library from 2005 to the present.

    Using 'depict' for more precise language.

  • RevisedCurrently, the library has transformed into a more open space, featuring automated book borrowing services.

    Reordering for clarity and precision.

  • RevisedNow, students can use their own laptops in a designated area extending from the entrance to the northeast.

    Simplifying and correcting spelling error ('entrance').

Task achievement

Band 8.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task effectively, describing the main features and changes in the library layout.

Suggestions

  • Include more specific details about changes in the library office area.

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