University library, 2005 and today: IELTS Task 1 answer #4, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
187 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The plan this answer describes
University library, 2005
- The layout combines bookshelves, large study tables, borrowing/returns, computer desks and an office.
University library, today
- Private study desks replace the earlier central arrangement.
- Automated borrowing is shown on the left and student-laptop desks are shown on the right and bottom.
- Gone by University library, today
- Library office
Academic Task 1187 words
The maps show a university library in 2005 and the same library today .
The maps compare a university library in 2005 and its layout today.
Overall,the place of the library has witnessed dramatic changes with adding more facilities.It is also clear that more and more facilities were introduced to the western hike the north has not seen any changes on its area.
However,on the east of the side there were more facilities than other sides for the readers with location of desks with computers and library office.Meanwhile, on the south of area bookshelves placed.It is also noteworthy that these bookshelves located also in the western without any other advanced facilities.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2005, the university library was undeveloped, with only three study tables located in the middle of the library.
The revised sentence is more coherent and uses a comma to separate the clauses, making the sentence easier to understand.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedSince then, the library has undergone significant changes, including the addition of more private study desks in the middle of the building.
The revised sentence is more coherent and provides a clearer explanation of the changes that have occurred in the library.
Lexical resource
RevisedIt is also evident that the bookshelves no longer met the needs of students on the western side due to the introduction of more automated book borrowings.
The revised sentence uses more precise language to convey the intended meaning.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedHowever, bookshelves have remained unchanged on the northern side.
The revised sentence is more coherent and uses a comma to separate the clauses, making the sentence easier to understand.
Lexical resource
RevisedMoreover, desks for student laptops have been introduced on both the southern and eastern sides of the building.
The revised sentence uses the correct collocation and makes the sentence easier to understand.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information provided. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 2005, the university library was undeveloped, with only three study tables located in the middle of the library.
The revised sentence is more coherent and uses a comma to separate the clauses, making the sentence easier to understand.
RevisedSince then, the library has undergone significant changes, including the addition of more private study desks in the middle of the building.
The revised sentence is more coherent and provides a clearer explanation of the changes that have occurred in the library.
RevisedHowever, bookshelves have remained unchanged on the northern side.
The revised sentence is more coherent and uses a comma to separate the clauses, making the sentence easier to understand.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some issues with punctuation and the use of articles.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 2005, the university library was undeveloped, with only three study tables located in the middle of the library.
The revised sentence uses the correct punctuation and article, making the sentence easier to understand.
RevisedSince then, a lot of changes have occurred in the university library, including the addition of more private study desks in the middle of the building.
The revised sentence uses the correct punctuation and article, making the sentence easier to understand.
RevisedHowever, bookshelves have remained unchanged on the northern side.
The revised sentence uses the correct preposition, making the sentence easier to understand.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation.
Sentence revisions 2
RevisedIt is also evident that the bookshelves no longer met the needs of students on the western side due to the introduction of more automated book borrowings.
The revised sentence uses more precise language to convey the intended meaning.
RevisedMoreover, desks for student laptops have been introduced on both the southern and eastern sides of the building.
The revised sentence uses the correct collocation and makes the sentence easier to understand.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information provided. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and examples.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and examples to support your main points.
Check your own answer on this question
Write your answer and Axiom marks it the same way: a band for each criterion, and revisions for your own sentences. How the Task 1 checker works.
Check an essay free