University library, 2005 and today: IELTS Task 1 answer #6, band 5.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
171 words. Marked by Axiom on 23 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The plan this answer describes
University library, 2005
- The layout combines bookshelves, large study tables, borrowing/returns, computer desks and an office.
University library, today
- Private study desks replace the earlier central arrangement.
- Automated borrowing is shown on the left and student-laptop desks are shown on the right and bottom.
- Gone by University library, today
- Library office
Academic Task 1171 words
The maps show a university library in 2005 and the same library today.
The two maps show the main changes which took place at the university library between 2005 and now.
It is also clear that .
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the university library has been modernized with the addition of automated book borrowing and private study desks.
Clarified the transformation and improved sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Reviseddesks with computers have been replaced by desks for student laptops
Corrected preposition use for accuracy.
In the middle of the library were study tables and book borrowing and returns. And also there have been desks with computers and library office in the eastern side of the library.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2005, there were three bookshelves located on the northern, southern, and western sides of the library.
Corrected tense and improved sentence clarity.
Looking at the maps in more detail, we can see that bookshelves in the western side have been converted into automated book borrowing. Another change has been the demolition of the library office.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedAnother significant change is the replacement of the study tables in the middle of the library with private study desks.
Improved sentence clarity and corrected grammatical errors.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedThe final change was the conversion of desks with computers into desks for student laptops.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay provides a general overview of the changes but lacks clear logical progression and detailed comparisons.
Suggestions
- Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.
- Use linking words to enhance coherence.
- Provide more detailed comparisons between the two maps.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the university library has been modernized with the addition of automated book borrowing and private study desks.
Clarified the transformation and improved sentence structure.
RevisedIn 2005, there were three bookshelves located on the northern, southern, and western sides of the library.
Corrected tense and improved sentence clarity.
RevisedAnother significant change is the replacement of the study tables in the middle of the library with private study desks.
Improved sentence clarity and corrected grammatical errors.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 5.0/ 9
Frequent grammatical errors are present, affecting readability.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 2005, there were three bookshelves located
Corrected tense usage for consistency.
Revisedwhich have been replaced with private study desks
Corrected preposition for grammatical accuracy.
RevisedThe final change was the conversion of desks with computers into desks for student laptops.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety and precision.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedtransformed into a more modern library
Improved lexical choice for clarity and precision.
Reviseddesks with computers have been replaced by desks for student laptops
Corrected preposition use for accuracy.
RevisedAnother significant change has taken place
Corrected the subject-verb agreement.
Task achievement
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed comparisons and specific information.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details from the maps.
- Provide clearer comparisons between the past and present layouts.
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