University library, 2005 and today: IELTS Task 1 answer #2, band 4.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
186 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 December 2024. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The plan this answer describes
University library, 2005
- The layout combines bookshelves, large study tables, borrowing/returns, computer desks and an office.
University library, today
- Private study desks replace the earlier central arrangement.
- Automated borrowing is shown on the left and student-laptop desks are shown on the right and bottom.
- Gone by University library, today
- Library office
Academic Task 1186 words
The maps show a university library in 2005 and the same library today.
The plans below compare the library of a specific university in 2005 and it's present layout after the reconstruction.
Overall, the library has transformed into a modernized with private study desks and electronic book borrowings. It's also clear that the previously bookshelves has been .
Lexical resource
Revisedlibrary
Use a more common term for clarity.
Lexical resource
Revisedexpanded
Corrected spelling and used a more appropriate word.
Also workplaces for staff such as: library office on east-west site of library and on middle the book acquiring-returns office.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn 2005, bookshelves occupied a large part of the library, along with several common facilities for reading and tables with computers on the east side.
Improved sentence structure for coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedLooking at the current map, the main changes are evident on the western side.
Simplified and clarified the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor instance, part of the bookshelves has been transformed into an automated book borrowing system with electronic data.
Corrected spelling and improved sentence structure.
After, the common facilities of old study tables with a book borrowing and returns office was knocked down to make individual reading desks.
The final change was on constructing desk for laptops. Furthermore, the plan of to demolish the library office and connect the tables with southern bookshelves, make the library original, unusual and modernized place for students with laptops.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay lacks clear organization and logical flow, with some parts difficult to follow.
Suggestions
- Use clear topic sentences to introduce each paragraph.
- Ensure logical progression of ideas.
- Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the library has transformed into a modernized space, featuring private study desks and electronic book borrowing systems.
Clarified the sentence for better understanding and flow.
RevisedIn 2005, bookshelves occupied a large part of the library, along with several common facilities for reading and tables with computers on the east side.
Improved sentence structure for coherence.
RevisedLooking at the current map, the main changes are evident on the western side.
Simplified and clarified the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 4.0/ 9
Frequent grammatical errors affect comprehension.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIt's also clear that the previously existing bookshelves have been expanded.
Corrected verb tense and agreement errors.
Revisedthe main changes were on the western side.
Corrected subject-verb agreement and preposition use.
RevisedFor instance, part of the bookshelves has been transformed into an automated book borrowing system with electronic data.
Corrected spelling and improved sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 5.0/ 9
The vocabulary used is basic and sometimes incorrect, affecting clarity.
Sentence revisions 3
Revisedlibrary
Use a more common term for clarity.
Revisedexpanded
Corrected spelling and used a more appropriate word.
Revisedinstance
Corrected spelling.
Task achievement
Band 5.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task but lacks detail and clarity in describing changes.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed descriptions of the changes.
- Ensure all key features from the maps are covered.
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