Participation in four sports: IELTS Task 1 answer #5, band 4.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
157 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 August 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Basketball | Tennis | Badminton | Rugby | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1985 | 80 | 150 | 55 | 240 |
| 1990 | 78 | 175 | 45 | 210 |
| 1995 | 82 | 200 | 50 | 200 |
| 2000 | 83 | 210 | 50 | 150 |
| 2005 | 80 | 220 | 50 | 50 |
Academic Task 1157 words
The graph below shows the number of people taking part in four different kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe line graph presents data about the number of people participating in four different sports (basketball, tennis, badminton, rugby) in a particular region over the two decades from 1985 to 2005.
The revision provides a more clear and concise introduction to the topic and improves the use of cohesive devices.
Badminton and basketball remained stable.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the most significant change was observed in rugby, which showed an upward trend during the given period.
The revision corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity of the sentence.
Lexical resource
RevisedTennis has increased rapidly over 20 years.
The revision corrects the collocation and provides a more natural phrasing.
By contrast, tennis began at 150 members in 1985 then rose over the years, overtaking the rugby in 1995 and finishing at approximately 230 participants in 2005.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn detail, rugby had the highest participation in 1985 with about 240 people. However, this number began to fall over time, with the trend reaching only around 50 participants in 2005.
The revision corrects the tense and improves the clarity of the sentence.
As for basketball, participation fluctuated between 70 and 80 participants in the given period, peaking in 1995.
Lexical resource
RevisedBadminton had the lowest figure overall, starting with 50 participants in 1985, then dropping to 50 participants in 1990 and remaining stable.
The revision provides a more natural and collocationally appropriate phrasing.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph presents data about the number of people participating in four different sports (basketball, tennis, badminton, rugby) in a particular region over the two decades from 1985 to 2005.
The revision provides a more clear and concise introduction to the topic and improves the use of cohesive devices.
RevisedOverall, the most significant change was observed in rugby, which showed an upward trend during the given period.
The revision corrects the grammatical errors and improves the clarity of the sentence.
RevisedIn detail, rugby had the highest participation in 1985 with about 240 people. However, this number began to fall over time, with the trend reaching only around 50 participants in 2005.
The revision corrects the tense and improves the clarity of the sentence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some good use of grammatical structures. However, there are some errors in grammar and punctuation.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line graph shows information about people participating in the same region in three different sports (basketball, tennis, badminton, rugby) over the two decades from 1985 to 2005.
The revision corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity of the sentence.
RevisedOverall, the biggest change was noticed in rugby during the given period, which saw an upward trend.
The revision corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity of the sentence.
RevisedIn detail, rugby had the highest participation in 1985 with about 240 people. However, this number began to fall over time, with the trend reaching only around 50 participants in 2005.
The revision corrects the grammatical error and improves the clarity of the sentence.
Lexical resource
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some good word choice. However, there are some issues with collocation and the use of less common and idiomatic language.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe most significant change was observed in rugby during the given period, which showed an upward trend.
The revision provides a more natural and collocationally appropriate phrasing.
RevisedTennis has increased rapidly over 20 years.
The revision corrects the collocation and provides a more natural phrasing.
RevisedBadminton had the lowest figure overall, starting with 50 participants in 1985, then dropping to 50 participants in 1990 and remaining stable.
The revision provides a more natural and collocationally appropriate phrasing.
Task achievement
Band 4.0/ 9
The essay provides a clear overview and detailed information about the data presented in the graph. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more precise comparisons.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details and make more precise comparisons.
- Use a wider range of structures to discuss the data.
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