Participation in four sports: IELTS Task 1 answer #4, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
217 words. Marked by Axiom on 12 August 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Basketball | Tennis | Badminton | Rugby | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1985 | 80 | 150 | 55 | 240 |
| 1990 | 78 | 175 | 45 | 210 |
| 1995 | 82 | 200 | 50 | 200 |
| 2000 | 83 | 210 | 50 | 150 |
| 2005 | 80 | 220 | 50 | 50 |
Academic Task 1217 words
The graph below shows the number of people taking part in four different kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
The line chart provides data on how many people took part in four various kinds of sports in one particular region from 1985 to 2005.
In addition, the most significant declining trend was seen in Rugby, whereas the highest figure was experienced by Rugby until 1995, when Tennis replaced it.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, the figures for Tennis and Rugby showed significant changes, whereas Basketball and Badminton displayed more stable trends.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
Before dropping notably to 50 in 2005, the figure for Rugby declined negligibly to 200 in 1995. Starting with 150 in 1985, the number of people who were into tennis followed a gradual rising trend to 200, then rose steadily to 240 in 2005.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedThe most considerable changes were observed in Rugby and Tennis.
Rephrased for clarity and conciseness.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedIn 1985, nearly 250 people participated in Rugby.
Simplified sentence structure and corrected preposition use.
In 1985 the figure for Basketball stood at roughly 75, after which it was followed by mild fluctuations at around 75 and ended up the period at the same number of people. Starting with around 50 people who were interested in playing badminton, it saw a slight fall to 50 in 1990 and remained unchanged until the end of the period.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedIn contrast, Basketball and Badminton remained relatively stable.
Clarified the meaning and improved coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedSimilarly, Badminton followed the same pattern.
Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear linking phrases and cohesive devices, which affects the flow.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Improve the logical flow between sentences.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, the figures for Tennis and Rugby showed significant changes, whereas Basketball and Badminton displayed more stable trends.
Simplified sentence structure for clarity.
RevisedThe most considerable changes were observed in Rugby and Tennis.
Rephrased for clarity and conciseness.
RevisedIn contrast, Basketball and Badminton remained relatively stable.
Clarified the meaning and improved coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are some errors and awkward constructions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn 1985, nearly 250 people participated in Rugby.
Simplified sentence structure and corrected preposition use.
RevisedStarting with around 50 participants in 1985, badminton saw a slight decline to 50 in 1990.
Clarified sentence structure and improved accuracy.
RevisedSimilarly, Badminton followed the same pattern.
Improved grammatical accuracy and clarity.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some words are repeated, and there are occasional inaccuracies.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line chart illustrates the number of participants in four different sports.
Improved word choice and reduced redundancy.
RevisedBeginning at 150 in 1985, the number of tennis participants gradually increased to 200.
Enhanced vocabulary and precision.
RevisedIn 1985, the number of basketball participants was approximately 75, followed by minor fluctuations.
Improved vocabulary and sentence structure.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and includes relevant data, but some details are inaccurate or unclear.
Suggestions
- Ensure all data is accurately represented.
- Include more specific data points for clarity.
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