Participation in four sports: IELTS Task 1 answer #9, band 5.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

205 words. Marked by Axiom on 20 November 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

The line graph this answer describes

Values in people. Values approximate: read from the original chart, not printed on it.

Show the data

Participation in four sports (IELTS Task 1 line graph) (people)
	Basketball	Tennis	Badminton	Rugby
1985	80	150	55	240
1990	78	175	45	210
1995	82	200	50	200
2000	83	210	50	150
2005	80	220	50	50

Academic Task 1205 words

The graph below shows the number of people taking part in four different kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The graph illustates engagement of people in four various types of sports in specific region between 1985 and 2005.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedThe graph illustrates the engagement of people in four different types of sports in a specific region between 1985 and 2005.
Corrected spelling errors and added 'the' for specificity.

Generally, nearly no change was seen in the numbers of people interesting in basketball and badminton. While rugby lost its popularity, tennis gained a significant number of interested citizens over the period.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedGenerally, there was little change in the number of people interested in basketball and badminton.
Improved clarity and corrected grammatical errors.

To begin with, in 1985, the quantities of engagers in basketball was 75, which was almost 25 more than that of badminton preferrers. Over the years, there was not any significant movement in the figures for those types of sport, the former ending with slightly over than 75 and the latter finishing with 50.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1985, the number of people engaged in basketball was 75, which was almost 25 more than those interested in badminton.
Clarified the sentence structure and corrected grammatical errors.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedOver the years, there was no significant change in the figures for these sports, with basketball ending slightly over 75 and badminton finishing at 50.
Improved word choice and clarity.

In 1990, while the figure for individuals interested in rugby started facing a decline of 50, decreasing from almost 250 to over 200, the number of engagers of tennis experienced a sharp increase from 150 to 175. 1995 year was only the time when both tennis and rugby captivated almost identical figures of 200 interested people in that time. During 2000 and 2005 years, the figure for tennis was experiencing slight yet stable growth, reaching its peak of more than 225 players. Regarding rugby in those years, there was a considerable dip to 50 players in the end of period.

Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1990, while the number of individuals interested in rugby began to decline from almost 250 to over 200, the number of tennis participants experienced a sharp increase from 150 to 175.
Simplified sentence structure and corrected grammatical errors.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedIn 1995, both tennis and rugby attracted almost identical numbers, with 200 people interested in each sport.
Corrected awkward phrasing and improved clarity.
Grammar & accuracy
Close revision note
RevisedBetween 2000 and 2005, the number of tennis players experienced slight yet stable growth, reaching a peak of more than 225.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedRegarding rugby during those years, there was a considerable decline to 50 players by the end of the period.
Replaced 'dip' with 'decline' for more formal tone and corrected prepositional use.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay presents information in a logical order, but there are issues with clarity and cohesion. Some transitions between ideas are abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is limited.

Suggestions

Use more cohesive devices to link ideas.
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
Improve the flow between sentences.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe graph illustrates the engagement of people in four different types of sports in a specific region between 1985 and 2005.
Corrected spelling errors and added 'the' for specificity.
RevisedGenerally, there was little change in the number of people interested in basketball and badminton.
Improved clarity and corrected grammatical errors.
RevisedIn 1985, the number of people engaged in basketball was 75, which was almost 25 more than those interested in badminton.
Clarified the sentence structure and corrected grammatical errors.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 5.0/ 9

The essay contains several grammatical errors and awkward sentence structures. There is a need for more complex sentence structures.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn 1990, while the number of individuals interested in rugby began to decline from almost 250 to over 200, the number of tennis participants experienced a sharp increase from 150 to 175.
Simplified sentence structure and corrected grammatical errors.
RevisedIn 1995, both tennis and rugby attracted almost identical numbers, with 200 people interested in each sport.
Corrected awkward phrasing and improved clarity.
RevisedBetween 2000 and 2005, the number of tennis players experienced slight yet stable growth, reaching a peak of more than 225.
Improved sentence structure and clarity.

Lexical resource

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and repetitions. Some word choices are awkward or incorrect.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedThe graph illustrates the participation of people in four different types of sports in a specific region between 1985 and 2005.
Replaced 'engagement' with 'participation' for better clarity.
RevisedOver the years, there was no significant change in the figures for these sports, with basketball ending slightly over 75 and badminton finishing at 50.
Improved word choice and clarity.
RevisedRegarding rugby during those years, there was a considerable decline to 50 players by the end of the period.
Replaced 'dip' with 'decline' for more formal tone and corrected prepositional use.

Task achievement

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed analysis and comparison. Some data points are mentioned, but the analysis could be deeper.

Suggestions

Include more detailed comparisons between sports.
Provide more analysis of trends over time.
Ensure all key data points are covered.

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