Participation in four sports: IELTS Task 1 answer #10, band 6.5
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
198 words. Marked by Axiom on 6 January 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
The line graph this answer describes
Show the data
| Basketball | Tennis | Badminton | Rugby | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1985 | 80 | 150 | 55 | 240 |
| 1990 | 78 | 175 | 45 | 210 |
| 1995 | 82 | 200 | 50 | 200 |
| 2000 | 83 | 210 | 50 | 150 |
| 2005 | 80 | 220 | 50 | 50 |
Academic Task 1198 words
The graph below shows the number of people taking part in four kinds of sports in a particular region between 1985 and 2005.
Lexical resource
RevisedThe line chart illustrates the number of people engaging in four types of sports in a specific region from 1985 to 2005.
The phrase 'the figure for people' was changed to 'the number of people' for accuracy.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedOverall, tennis became increasingly popular and ended as the most participated sport. In contrast, rugby became less popular, with participation falling dramatically by the end of the period.
The sentence was split into two to improve clarity and coherence.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedMeanwhile, basketball and badminton experienced minimal changes in participation throughout the period.
The sentence was rephrased for clarity and coherence.
In detail, participation in tennis rose steadily throughout the period. Starting at around 150 thousand in 1985, the figure increased gradually to approximately 180 thousand in 1995, before reaching just over 220 thousand by 2005.
In contrast, rugby showed a sharp decline during this period. As a result it dropped dramatically to around 50 thousand by the end of the period.
Lexical resource
RevisedThis sport was the most popular at the beginning, with about 230 thousand participants in 1985.
The phrase '230 thousand participation' was corrected to '230 thousand participants' for accuracy.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedHowever, these numbers fell steadily to 200 thousand in 1995, and then the sport became unpopular.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedRegarding basketball and badminton, both sports maintained relatively stable participation levels.
The sentence was rephrased to improve clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedBasketball started at about 80 thousand, and after 20 years, it returned to this number.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
Lexical resource
RevisedBadminton started at approximately 55 thousand, decreased marginally in 1990, and then remained almost unchanged at around 50 thousand until 2005.
The sentence was restructured to improve readability and flow.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. However, there are occasional lapses in coherence due to abrupt transitions and lack of clear linkage between some ideas.
Suggestions
- Use linking words to enhance the flow between sentences.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Provide a more detailed conclusion.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, tennis became increasingly popular and ended as the most participated sport. In contrast, rugby became less popular, with participation falling dramatically by the end of the period.
The sentence was split into two to improve clarity and coherence.
RevisedMeanwhile, basketball and badminton experienced minimal changes in participation throughout the period.
The sentence was rephrased for clarity and coherence.
RevisedRegarding basketball and badminton, both sports maintained relatively stable participation levels.
The sentence was rephrased to improve clarity and coherence.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay contains a variety of sentence structures but also includes some grammatical errors and awkward constructions.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedOverall, tennis became increasingly popular and ended as the most participated sport. However, rugby became less popular among people and fell dramatically by the end of the period.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedHowever, these numbers fell steadily to 200 thousand in 1995, and then the sport became unpopular.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
RevisedBasketball started at about 80 thousand, and after 20 years, it returned to this number.
Corrected grammatical errors and improved sentence structure.
Lexical resource
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary with some variety in word choice. However, there are occasional inaccuracies and awkward phrasing.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedThe line chart illustrates the number of people engaging in four types of sports in a specific region from 1985 to 2005.
The phrase 'the figure for people' was changed to 'the number of people' for accuracy.
RevisedThis sport was the most popular at the beginning, with about 230 thousand participants in 1985.
The phrase '230 thousand participation' was corrected to '230 thousand participants' for accuracy.
RevisedBadminton started at approximately 55 thousand, decreased marginally in 1990, and then remained almost unchanged at around 50 thousand until 2005.
The sentence was restructured to improve readability and flow.
Task achievement
Band 7.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task effectively, summarizing the main trends and providing relevant details. However, some details could be more precise.
Suggestions
- Include more precise data points for clarity.
- Ensure all key trends are clearly highlighted.
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