Space exploration and spending: IELTS Task 2 essay #6, band 6.5

A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.

307 words. Marked by Axiom on 13 August 2026. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

Task 2307 words

Space exploration is waste of resources. It would be better to spend that money for improving people\'s lives.

In the modern world, many scientists have a strong willingness to exlpore the space to find out something useful for our planet. However, Most people argue that to investigate such a large space, there should be specialized machines and scientists have to be supported financially, and this requires a large amount of money, which can be intended for human purposes, so many people consider it as a waste of money. I partially argree with this notion, as investigation of the space will may bring benefits to our world, even if it is excessively expensive.

Lexical resource
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RevisedIn the modern world, many scientists are keen to explore space in the hopes of uncovering valuable information that can benefit our planet.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic in terms of language use.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedHowever, many people argue that exploring space requires significant financial support for specialized machines and scientists, which some consider a misuse of resources.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it corrects the capitalization error.
Lexical resource
Close revision note
RevisedI partially agree with this notion, as space exploration could potentially bring significant benefits to our world, despite the high cost.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic in terms of language use.

In modern world, governments utilize machines in the space to forecast coming weather. However, most of these technologies can't predict coming weather correctly. Therefore, governments need to support the idea of many scientists, as we aren't aware of what will happen in the future. Another point worth mentioning is that most researchers believe that in the foreseeable future, many alterations will happen in the space, and that can bring very dangerous damages to our planet. For example, it is estimated that there are large and dangerous stones that can drop to demolish our world. Hence, goverment have to invest in such a reasonable idea to protect our world.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedIn the modern world, governments use space-based technologies to provide critical services such as weather forecasting.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more specific explanation of the government's use of space technology.
Grammar & accuracy
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RevisedAnother point worth mentioning is that most researchers believe that the space environment is subject to numerous alterations in the near future, which could potentially cause significant damage to our planet.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it corrects the awkward phrasing and preposition use.
Lexical resource
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RevisedFor example, it is speculated that there are large and potentially hazardous asteroids that could impact our world.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.

Conversely, it is climate change and global warming that are pressing concerns in our world, and those issues needs to be tackled to protect our world and global population. Additionally, many people encourage goverments to improve their well-being. Improving human welfare should be government responsibility. Therefore, there should be more investments to improve the quality of human lifestyle and address aforementioned problems, instead of allocating money to exploring the space.

Coherence & cohesion
Close revision note
RevisedTherefore, more investments should be directed towards improving human welfare and addressing the aforementioned problems, rather than allocating funds to space exploration.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear, and it uses a more formal tone which is more appropriate for an academic essay.

In conculusion, we need to consider more about urgent issues in the world, instead of learnin about the space. However, taking the coming future into account, goverment also support the sciencetist to explore the space.

Coherence & cohesion
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RevisedIn conclusion, it is important to prioritize urgent global issues over space exploration.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone, and it clearly states the writer's position.

Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.

Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.

What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.

Coherence & cohesion

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of linking words. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve the overall readability.

Suggestions

Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas.
Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn the modern world, governments use space-based technologies to provide critical services such as weather forecasting.
The revised sentence provides a clearer and more specific explanation of the government's use of space technology.
RevisedTherefore, more investments should be directed towards improving human welfare and addressing the aforementioned problems, rather than allocating funds to space exploration.
The revised sentence is more direct and clear, and it uses a more formal tone which is more appropriate for an academic essay.
RevisedIn conclusion, it is important to prioritize urgent global issues over space exploration.
The revised sentence is more formal and academic in tone, and it clearly states the writer's position.

Grammar & accuracy

Band 6.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder the overall clarity of the writing. These include errors in subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition usage. For example, "Most people argue that to investigate such a large space, there should be specialized machines and scientists have to be supported financially" should be rephrased for clarity. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the writing.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedHowever, many people argue that exploring space requires significant financial support for specialized machines and scientists, which some consider a misuse of resources.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it corrects the capitalization error.
RevisedAnother point worth mentioning is that most researchers believe that the space environment is subject to numerous alterations in the near future, which could potentially cause significant damage to our planet.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it corrects the awkward phrasing and preposition use.
RevisedTherefore, more investments should be directed towards improving human welfare and addressing the aforementioned problems, rather than allocating funds to space exploration.
The revised sentence is more concise and clear, and it corrects the awkward phrasing and preposition use.

Lexical resource

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and some awareness of collocation. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, "the coming future" is redundant, and "sciencetist" should be "scientist." Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve the overall quality of the writing.

Sentence revisions 3

RevisedIn the modern world, many scientists are keen to explore space in the hopes of uncovering valuable information that can benefit our planet.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic in terms of language use.
RevisedI partially agree with this notion, as space exploration could potentially bring significant benefits to our world, despite the high cost.
The revised sentence is more natural and idiomatic in terms of language use.
RevisedFor example, it is speculated that there are large and potentially hazardous asteroids that could impact our world.
The revised sentence is more precise and uses a more formal tone.

Task response

Band 7.0/ 9

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. The writer acknowledges the potential benefits of space exploration but ultimately argues that the focus should be on addressing current human needs. The essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the counterarguments to provide a more balanced view. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and restating the position more emphatically.

Suggestions

Ensure that you fully develop your arguments and provide sufficient support for your position.
Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.

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