Space exploration and spending: IELTS Task 2 essay #4, band 6.0
A student’s answer to this repeated IELTS question, shared without their name and marked by Axiom on the four criteria. Select a highlighted passage to see how it could be revised, and why.
315 words. Marked by Axiom on 28 June 2025. Estimated by AI. It isn’t an official IELTS score.
Task 2315 words
Space exploration is waste of resources. It would be better to spend that money for improving people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
IN recent years governments around the world have been spending more money on space programs. Many rockets are being launched to explore the moon , mars and other planets . Some people believe this is good thing, but I think it is not the best way to use money . In my opinion this money should be spent on solving important problems on EARTH .
. Governments should help these people first . .It is not right to spend billions on space projects when people are dying from hunger or disease . Secondly , it is morally wrong to focus on space while people on Earth are suffering . Every person deserves good life . Helping those in need should be more important than discovering new planets . Space exploration may sound exciting , but it does not save lives .
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedFirstly, it is not fair to spend money on space exploration when there are people who live in poverty.
The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.
Lexical resource
RevisedIn some countries, people lack access to sufficient food and clean water.
The revised sentence is more formal and academically appropriate.
Grammar & accuracy
RevisedFor example, many families in India and some parts of Africa live in poor conditions.
The revised sentence corrects the word order and punctuation.
Coherence & cohesion
RevisedUsing the same money to build hospitals or schools would be more beneficial for society.
The revised sentence is more concise and coherent.
Another reason is that space exploration gives very few benefits to ordinary people. Since the moon landing , we have not seen big changes in daily life rom space discoveries. Also , there are many urgent problems on earth that need funding . For example , better schools mean future for children and good hospitals save lives.
Lexical resource
RevisedMost people do not experience significant benefits from these projects.
The revised sentence is more accurate and provides clearer information.
Lexical resource
RevisedIf governments redirected space exploration funds to improve healthcare, the immediate benefits would be significant.
The revised sentence provides a complete thought and is more informative.
In conclusion , space programs are not the best use of money . It is better to spend these funds on improving human life here on Earth. People’s needs should come first.
Select a highlighted passage to see its suggested revision.
What Axiom wrote for each criterion: why the answer earned its band, and what to work on next.
Coherence & cohesion
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected, but there are some issues with the flow of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedFirstly, it is not fair to spend money on space exploration when there are people who live in poverty.
The revised sentence is more coherent and easier to understand.
RevisedSecondly, focusing on space exploration while people on Earth are suffering is morally wrong.
The revised sentence is more direct and has a clearer impact.
RevisedUsing the same money to build hospitals or schools would be more beneficial for society.
The revised sentence is more concise and coherent.
Grammar & accuracy
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn some countries, people do not have enough food or clean water to drink.
The revised sentence removes the redundant 'to eat' and corrects the punctuation.
RevisedFor example, many families in India and some parts of Africa live in poor conditions.
The revised sentence corrects the word order and punctuation.
RevisedUsing the same money to build hospitals or schools would be more useful for society
The revised sentence corrects the grammatical error and awkward phrasing.
Lexical resource
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling.
Sentence revisions 3
RevisedIn some countries, people lack access to sufficient food and clean water.
The revised sentence is more formal and academically appropriate.
RevisedMost people do not experience significant benefits from these projects.
The revised sentence is more accurate and provides clearer information.
RevisedIf governments redirected space exploration funds to improve healthcare, the immediate benefits would be significant.
The revised sentence provides a complete thought and is more informative.
Task response
Band 6.0/ 9
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.
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